George W. Bush was bragging to Russian President Putin. "Our Homeland Security measures have been so effective that we are now terrorist-free!"
"Come, now, George," Putin laughed. "Surely you exaggerate!"
"No, not at all. I'll tell you what. The first three terrorists you see, you can shoot them yourself, and you can have my job to boot!"
The very next day on his way to fly home, Putin spotted four men holding a group of people at gunpoint, taking their belongings, making dire threats to all who offered resistance. The Russian president quickly put a stop to it as Bush had suggested.
The headline for the morning's Washington Post read, "Slavic Man Claims He's President, Shoots Four FAA Security Guards."