The Earth moved
At around 5pm today the Earth shifted violently, rotating 90° in less
than a second. This came as something of a shock to me, as I found the
pavement suddenly and violently in contact with my forehead and the
front of my body, particularly my left knee. Thankfully, I was able to
get my arms out and my hands in front of my face, but my knee was not
so well protected.
In hindsight, an unseen curb may have been involved - perhaps
containing some kind of switch or trigger connected directly to the
Earth's suspension mechanism? I may have to go back to the scene to
investigate, wearing appropriate protective clothing.
Strangely, this unique event has not been reported anywhere. It sounds
far fetched, but could it in fact be that the entire Universe was
affected, other than the precise volume of space that I inhabit? What
is the meaning of this great event? Am I in reality The One - around whom all things revolve? Or am I, as my friends and family would contend, merely a bit of a one, around whom only a few fragments of off-colour gossip and the occassional mosquito could be reliably said to move?
Enough of these metaphysical speculations. I must send in my review of Voles and Voling by the lovely Muriel Fruttlekker. My review reads:
I laughed. I cried. I took my medication.
(If anyone reading this has a working knowledge of mild head trauma, perhaps they could get in touch. Thanks.)
12:14:01 AM 
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