licentious radio

Tuesday, February 12, 2002
[3:38:46 PM]

Somewhat predictably, calling Iranians the "Axis of Evil" didn't improve their opinions of the United States. Somewhat predictably, chanting "Death to America" didn't quite endear the Iranians to the Americans.

If only it were an English football game, and we could settle it all with a good, honest street-brawl.

[3:11:17 PM]
The good news is that I got Linux installed on my ipaq 3800. The bad news is that it's a little heavier than a Palm V. Walked to lunch with it in my back pocket... realized I'll have to eat bigger lunches or buy smaller pants. Don't want to be mistaken for no plumber.

Political correctness complacency statement: As far as I can tell, plumbers are completely fair game.

Compaq has a team of heroes [handhelds.org] working on a linux distribution for these pocket pc devices in general, and the ipaqs in particular.

[12:02:12 PM]
Washington, DC (AP) -- Microsoft lawyers responded to Judge Kollar-Kotelly's order to explain allegations of unreported contacts with Department of Justice lawyers since the Republicans took over the government. The initial response was to move that Oracle be forced to admit it has aided the nine dissenting states in forming alternative sanctions.

Judge Kollar-Kotelly replied that Microsoft's lawyers could make that motion later, but now they should answer the question. Microsoft's lawyers replied with a motion that those sneaky Oracle people should be forced to admit how they're out to stifle competition, and are even in cahoots with the commie open-source terrorists.

It soon became apparent why the judge had agreed to bar the press and public from the courtroom. After trying again to get Microsoft to answer her question, Judge Kollar-Kotelly nodded to the bailiff, who in turn nodded to two unshaved guards in ill-fitting uniforms, who approached the MS lawyer from either side and proceeded to beat him with rubber hoses. Microsoft and DOJ lawyers anxiously averted their eyes. Lawyers for the nine dissenting states broke into a brief applause, which Judge Kollar-Kotelly stopped by asking for order.

When the Microsoft lawyer had had enough, Kollar-Kotelly repeated her question, and he sang like a bird.

"The black guy came to us his first day on the job and said he was looking to flush the case. I believe his exact words were 'knife the baby'."

A DOJ lawyer yelled out "Objection". Judge Kollar-Kotelly advised him he was free to object, but that he was also free to withdraw the objection. With a glance at the two guards, he withdrew the objection.

The MS lawyer continued: "Since the law you're asking about is a federal law, and we had assurance from the federal attorney general's office that they will do everything in their power to make this case go away, we figure we are entirely safe in this."

"In particular, there can be no impropriety, when the DOJ starts with the position that there will be as little enforcement as they can get away with. We're in this together, and it's a lot of work to undo the damage caused by the democrats, so we naturally hang out together. We can't report every contact we've had, because it might be misinterpreted that Microsoft has real estate agents looking for houses in Seattle for several current members of the DOJ team.

"Given the certainty of no enforcement, and the clear lack of impropriety, we feel no need to report contacts to you.

"Besides which, the Appeals Court is pretty much in our pocket, and even if there's something they can't completely overturn -- case in point being the findings of fact -- we have assurances at the highest level that any sanctions stricter than the current whitewash would be vacated -- five-to-four -- in the Supreme Court."

Political Correctness blah blah: The above is fiction -- of the vilest sort -- and what's more, disrespectful of authority.