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Saturday, September 20, 2003 |
QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND
"Well you wonder why I always dress in black/Why you never see bright colors on my back/And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone/Well there's a reason for the things that I have on/I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down/Livin' in the hopeless hungry side of town/I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime/But is there because he's a victim of the times."
- - Johnny Cash (from his signature song, "Man in Black")
THIS WEEKEND IN HISTORY
SEPTEMBER 20th
1972 -- Police find cannabis growing on Paul & Linda McCartney's farm.
1976 -- Playboy releases President Jimmy Carter's interview revealing that he lusts for women.
SEPTEMBER 21st
1937 -- J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" published.
1986 -- Imelda Marcos explains the reason there were so many shoes in her closets was...
"Everybody kept their shoes there. The maids ... everybody."
WEB PAGE OF THE WEEK:
From The Village Voice, Mark Fiore's "Pumping Irony"
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0336/fiore.php
RHINO HERE:
The Man In Black, Johnny Cash, passed away this last week at 72 years of age. He wasn't commonly known as a politically active artist but he never feared to express himself on the issues for which he had a passion. That included the history of U.S. Government oppression of it's Native peoples. The Nation columnist, John Nichols, wrote a nice eulogy for Cash in his recent column entitled, "Johnny Cash's Redemption Song" which refers to the soon to be released collection of Cash's songs including a collaboration with one of his greatest fans, the Clash's Joe Strummer, on a cover of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song"
The Online Beat: Johnny Cash's Redemption Song
By John Nichols, The Nation, 9/12/03
Redemption Song
The late night talk show hosts have been taking full advantage of the comedic opportunities presented by the current political climate. For those who question whether the current political climate has anything funny about it, remember the words of our ancient beatnik forebears: "If you don't have a sense of humor about it, it's not very funny."
ON THE SHRUB'S VACATION
President Bush held his first full press conference in over five months this week. He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has not yet been captured. And then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'
-- Jay Leno
President Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for a 35-day working vacation. This should go over big with all the people taking a can't-get-work vacation... ... The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?
-- David Letterman
If you add up all the time he's spent on the ranch, he's spent more time in hiding than bin Laden and Hussein put together.
-- Bill Maher
Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day vacation. He's down there
in Crawford, Texas; and on the first day of his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish. But he believes they're there and that his intelligence is accurate.
-- David Letterman
ON THE CALIFORNIA RECALL
Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The
announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country... ...Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
-- Conan O'Brien
President Bush is supporting Arnold. But a lot of Republicans are not because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all... ... Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German.
-- Bill Maher
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
-- David Letterman
FINALLY, 3 FROM JAY LENO ON THE SHRUB & HIS GANG
The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore. So what the hell?
President Bush's economic team is now on their Jobs and Growth bus tour all across America. I
think the only job they created so far is for the guy driving the bus.
President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy. Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats.
The following document was covertly lifted from the shrub White House.
Entry from the Diary of Barney, the White House Dog!!!
by Cheryl Seal, 9/1703, Baltimore Indy Media
This diary entry was sneaked out of the White House by a mouse who prefers to be known only as "Deep Throat II". After some bartering (which involved an undisclosed amount of oatmeal and cheddar cheese), I obtained the diary pages. Here is the entry.
Dear Diary,
Well, it's been another long and bizarro day at the White House. I don't know how much longer I can stand it.The stress is making my hair fall out and I think I'm becoming bulemic...I can't stop making myself throw up. But then, maybe I'm just getting an ulcer.
I never asked to be a celebrity dog. Give me a few trees and parking meters to sniff in the city or a patch of stinky mud in the country to roll in and I'd be happy as a clam. ( Are clams happy? I'm skeptical.)
But here I am, stuck here at this big pile of limestone with a lunatic and a pack of uptight suits who could use some primal scream therapy. That balloon-faced guy, Karl Rove, especially, makes my skin crawl. He's all cute and lovey dovey with me whenever G. W. is around (as cute and lovey dovey as someone who looks like an evil version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy can be, that is). But the other day when G.W. went down the hall to ask Condi a question, he kicked me and told me I looked like a yak someone had cut off at the knees.
TEXT and ILLUSTRATIONS Copyright 2003 by Cheryl Seal
http://baltimore.indymedia.org/newswire/display/5006/index.php
My final offering, RHINO'S BOTTOM LINE, was written by Rhino's Blog reader, Kathy Peyser & her husband Tony, who are veteran film & TV comedy writers. Rhino sez, "Enjoy your weekend."
7:57:56 AM 
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These Candidates Would Really Spice Up Race
By Kathy and Tony Peyser, Fresno Bee, 9/11/03
The problem with California's race to replace Gray Davis isn't too many candidates; it's too few. Mind you, the 135 contenders we have are fine but with a little tweaking, the field could be so much more interesting.
This recall proves that the door's been blown off the front of the governor's mansion and anybody has a shot. Many of the folks we're suggesting don't have a chance and may not even live in the state. But we're planning ahead and trying to make inroads on name recognition for future races. Hey, the next official gubernatorial election is in 2006 but the next recall could be a mere six months away. So, here are 10 new names to make the top contenders nervous.
The Celebrity Vote: Instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger, how about Wolfgang Puck? The famous restaurateur-chef is also an Austrian immigrant and sounds exactly like Schwarzenegger. Puck has high visibility and old world charm. Campaign Slogan: "I Can Stand The Heat -- I've Been In The Kitchen."
The Porno Vote: Instead of Larry Flynt, how about Bob Guccione? It'll split the smut peddler constituency. Besides, the timing couldn't better: Guccione's magazine just filed for bankruptcy, which means he's looking for work. Campaign Slogan: "Send Guccione From Penthouse To The Statehouse."
The MTV Vote: Instead of Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, how about Busta Rhymes? If Bill Clinton was The Man From Hope, Rhymes could be The Man From Hip Hop. Young blacks need political role models. With a song like "Things We Be Doin' For Money," one could assume Rhymes is clearly down with the pesky fund-raising aspect of being a public servant. Campaign Slogan: "I Can Give Politics A Good Rap."
READ THE REST AT:
http://www.fresnobee.com/opinion/wo/story/7421472p-8340034c.html
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6:39:08 AM
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© Copyright 2005 Gary Rhine.
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