Sunday, March 16, 2003

I don't know if pundits are addressing this anywhere. I don't read so much anymore. But while Bush can rest mostly assured that Americans will forget the war months from now, the same Americans who would be hard pressed to remember who the last American Idol winner was, the Muslim world will never not remember. We are adding toxins to the mix for generations, for fundamentalists everywhere to rally around. I wonder if we thought of ourselves, not God, not some munificent alien race out there somewhere, as the universe's prime movers, the moral authority, if we might make different choices. Somehow, believing in God makes us less, not more, accountable, for our own actions.Or believing that we are children in a universe populated with vastly superior beings. I wonder if we'll ever know, or if we'll find out when it's too late, waiting for rescue from whatever skies each of us looks to. I shaved my remaining facial hair off today. In stages. Debating at each stop. It was an archeology of my face. And the dimples, on the cheeks, on the chin, won. This time, I fall on the side of the women. It would be nice to have someone around these days to appreciate the roughness gone, the kissable skin. That was more fun even than running for the first time with fresh face, the excited kissing I'd get from whomever I was dating when the beard came off. And the feel of her skin against mine. Which made up for her pheremones, her cassolette, no longer secreted away in whiskers. 3:18:27 PM

When I get home at night and the timer on the living room light still gives me some bright welcome, this is a good night. I have a new rule for cranky customers. Since not all restaurant goers come to celebrate. Some come to commiserate. And so I will assume any cranky customer has just discovered that she or he only has a few more painful months of life. Or that the person they are with has been cheating on them for years and doesn't yet know that they know. Today, while Loki and I were hiking with a bevy of other dogs, I kept wishing Loki would play more with the other animals, instead of walking off on his own. As I was walking off on my own, floating free of any conversational triads. I wonder if he sometimes thinks the same thing of me. But hikes are similar for both of us, maybe, breathing in air, listening to what the quiet has to say. 12:34:10 AM