Sunday, March 23, 2003

Wow. One of my referers. My only one. Was from an MSN search on comparing pregnant bellies. Van der Waahls forces. Weird stuff pulls up Benblog. Bill said something Friday first thing during our session, when I told him how I'm starting to grasp how I function in intimate relationships, and giving up some of fucked up stuff, now that I'm understanding what it's about. And he said it kinda takes the fun out of it, jokingly, but it's partly true. The patterns and scripts I know so well add so much intrigue, that there's a part of me that doesn't know what to do with all the extra energy I have NOT generating intrique and complexity. I feel like I'm going into retirement. I'm pondering the idea of forced sabbaticals. That every seven years or so, maybe sooner, you have to give up everything. Get dropped off somewhere with nothing. Maybe not even speaking the language. And deal with it for a year, with the caveat that you have to had enough of your wits together to get back to your previous life on your own power - that no one is going to come looking for you to reestablish access to your bank accounts, etcetera. I think that would really, really keep people on their toes. D's funeral was amazing, the service. Makes me want to go back to Grace Baptist for some more witnessing. Tom Cohen said he'd been studying the blues for years and now he finally got it. 1:49:02 AM