Thursday, May 22, 2003

Tonight, after going out to hear live music, specifically hoping to catch Celia's Big Rock Band , but missing their act, hearing helicopter, helicopter instead, having spent my alloted discretionary minutes talking with Elizabeth, for whom I don't have a hyperlink, whom Renee said everyone knew I had a crush on since the day she walked in the restaurant. I guess because I focus entirely on listening and talking to her when she is around. Obvious. I guess. But tonight, I'm thinking of Pythagros, sitting down, figuring out the ratios of music, of strings. And I don't know enough of his history to know, really, whether the music came from the math, or the math from the music, but it doesn't matter so much, how amazing those ratios are in expressing the most secret truths of being, regardless of culture, regardless of being. I'm taking a hiatus from refereeing and playing Dungeons and Dragons, and it feels so liberating, having another 25% of my nights free.  I don't know what harmony, what chord that is, but the ratio feels good, having time, to spend, doing other, things. Right now at least. That fulfilled for me something for a while, maybe having a set of rules in a universe that weren't as crazy and unpredicable as the real world. But now that I'm in a real fantasy world, feeling real magic, albeit slow, as I let more of myself meld with the cosmos we don't understand, what once was, or may be magic, Dungeon's and Dragons doesn't have the same appeal. I'm making my own world right now, is what it boils down to. That is my release.   1:24:55 AM