I encountered a friendliness in New York that surprised me and that I think one does not find in Minnesota. I will grant you that the less than friendly have probably been priced out of Manhattan and live in the suburbs, waiting for some Minnesotan to get off at the wrong bus stop. I know there are neighborhoods and suburbs in New York that, were you to walk into them, you might literally find yourself tied to a stake and simmering in a giant iron pot. There are extremes there among the 11 million people that make it impossible to compare New York and Minnesota. But even in the supposedly "bad" neighborhood (117th Street and Manhattan Avenue aka Harlem) where I stayed, there is an acceptance that you would not find in a similar neighborhood in the Midwest.
We credit ourselves with a friendly Midwest attitude but that friendliness is awful thin and icy. There is a backwoods freak quality here, a quality of people who don't want to be a part of larger society, who resent the intrusion of 'others', who have land and car ownership culturally entwined with their egos. Their ancestors moved out here for a reason and the ones that survived are the ones who thrived on isolation. If you don't believe me, take a walk through the east side of St. Paul some time, or try visiting a bar on rte 10 near staples and trying to make friends with the locals.
New York, people don't own cars and often don't own property. They build their careers and wealth on their social systems. Their personal networks hold true value. Openness, Conviviality, Information exchange, appearances. In New York, you can literally walk into a bar and make friends with people. Those people live on that energy. Business gets done that way. They are smushed together into each others faces and they like it. Fights are conducted that way as well as friendships. Sarah Vowell said,
"I’ve walked alone the darkened streets of tough towns from Palermo to New York, but the congenial Midwest makes me tremble. I know for a fact that the steam rises from the gates of hell in downtown Fargo and the Antichrist, laying low, shovels snow off the streets of Dubuque for extra cash.”
Vowell’s quote really hit home on this trip as I realized that Minnesota and the rest of the Midwest is something entirely different than the face it puts on for itself and the outside world. And "nice" could well be a way of keeping people at a distance so they never discover what is behind the smiling face.
There is a lie here, that we are friendlier or something and it has to be uncovered and maybe it is time to celebrate our misanthropy and take ownership of our shadows.
11:43:59 PM 
|
