Everybody loves a good war!...
Radio stations licking chops for war. California Clearchannel radio stations KFBK and KSTE are slavering for war -- they're rarin' to go with groovy branding liners and they're warning their employees not to miss out on a great chance to win over new listeners. Check out the leaked memo.

Our Coverage will be called America's War with Iraq In writing copy please call our coverage, 'LIVE In-Depth Team Coverage of America's War with Iraq...'

Branding liners have been produced and are in the system. Michael please issue a memo making it clear where board ops will find this important imaging. Mike also make certain that our cross promos on the FMs all address Live in-depth team coverage of the War with Iraq on Newstalk 1530 KFBK

The initial hours of coverage are critical. People who have never listened to our stations will be tuning in out of curiosity, desperation, panic and a hunger for information. RIGHT NOW, convert them to P-1's, or at least make them a future cumer. We must make sure we meet their expectations, otherwise they're gone forever and they ain't coming back.

Link Discuss (Thanks, Clive!) [Boing Boing Blog] 

N. Korean crisis enters multilateral forum. Critics say passing the problem to the UN risks allowing the North time to become a nuclear power. [Christian Science Monitor | Top Stories]

So are you wondering what's going on with North Korea? First they say they're going to build a nuclear arsenal and now it is announced they have an ICBM capable of reaching the western United States.

It all goes back to Bush declaring them part of the "Axis of Evil".  As the United States prepares for war with Iraq, another member of the "Axis of Evil",  North Korea must be starting to wonder if they're the next target.

North Korea begins boasting of it's nuclear weapons program it is resuming and how it will not hesitate to make a first strike. As the US pays little attention and continues it's plans for war, North Korea announces that it can strike targets in the US. Tadaaa! Detante.

They believe that if the US has an equal chance of getting destroyed, it will seek an alternative means (negotiations) rather than trying to force North Korea to disarm with force.

Don't worry North Korea. You have no oil. Your country is safe.

 

HAHAHAH...
The "Pull My Finger" Project. Something's been weighing heavily on my mind for quite some time, and I think I'm finally ready to test my hypothesis. The question: "What if everybody in the world farted at the same time?" I'll need your help, and can do nothing but assume that you're going to participate unless I hear otherwise. At 4PM (Pacific) today, I need you to let loose and pass some gas. If my theory is correct, the planet will survive this influx in Pu (Stinkinium) gases. Not quite a noble gas, but respectable nonetheless. Thank you for your kind assistance. My suggestion? Grab a burrito or two for lunch. Careful not to push too hard - no solids are required for this experiment.... [C:PIRILLO.EXE ~ Chris Pirillo]

Does anybody know what it is about Fart humor that is so universally funny?

 

Radio needs an update or...
How NOT to design a comments server.

Apparently, the comments server that I (and many others) am using (http://radiocomments.userland.com/) uses your email address as the Primary Key (PK). Additionally, if you update your name when posting, all previous posts will be updated as well. This is bad. Why? I'll tell you.

Check out the comments to my previous post. You'll see a jumbled, confusing mess (the result of my experimentation)... but what you should note is the third, fourth and fifth comments in particular. The third was made by me. The fourth was made by my wife (my most loyal reader) using the same fake (spam-avoiding) email address I normally do (justsayno@tospam.com). When she posted with that email address, all entries on the server made with that email address were updated to her name (...at which point she contacted me and apologized). In other words, all comments previously left by me suddenly appeared to have been left by her. The fifth comment is me switching it back.

Here's where it gets worse.

I then proceeded to make additional posts using the email address of the posters of comments 1 and 2. With apologies to Steven and Mad William Flint, I used their email address and "magically" gave them new handles. Unless they've updated (fixed) them by now, any posts made (on any weblog using the http://radiocomments.userland.com/ server) by my unwilling victims will be signed "Steve-o" and "Crazy William Flint".

My next step was to see if this was somehow local to my weblog or perhaps even my physical computer. So I went over to some comments on Steven's weblog and what do you know? Entries he made previously are labeled "Steve-o"!

So... if I wanted to change the handle of anyone on the server to something much more dastardly, vulgar or offensive, it would be a simple matter of making a single post using their email address to change all of their previous posts as well.

Just to be clear, I don't mind so much that I can claim to be whomever I want (including someone I'm not)... that's the nature of the Internet. My problem is that changes I (or anyone else) make on the comment server affect all posts to that server... even previous posts.

Again, I apologize to Steven and Mad William Flint for changing their handles without their permission and thank them for their understanding. Hopefully, if I give them enough links in this post, they won't get/stay too upset about it.

P.S. If anyone wants to make UserLand aware of this issue, feel free. I've got to get back to work.

[Grumpicus Maximus] 

Man vs. Machine...
Exception Handling.

I have no patience with computers.

The K-Mart near us has installed self-serve point-of-sale systems. These systems do not deal well with exceptions. By exceptions, I mean small children jumping in the bagging area. Or small children touching the pen to the screen when it is not expecting input.

Every time I've used one of these aisles, whether at K-Mart or A & P, has been an exercise in frustration. Because in addition to those abnormal events, the system cannot handle simple events, such the items that I just scanned actually being in the bagging area, or my signing the screen in the correct spot with the correct amount of pressure — or, God forbid, purchasing alchohol.

Now, the latter I can see as being a problem, as they are not ready to read the magnetic strip on the back of my driver's license. But these aisles are meant to alleviate the customer service demands on an inattentive staff. Instead, they are so poorly designed that normal, as well as deviant, use requires the intervention of said inattentive staff. Which means we have to wait.

And waiting is a Bad Thing.

There is no epistemological difference between artificial intelligence and the acceptance of badly designed computer software.
— Jaron Lanier, "One Half Of A Manifesto"

So I kicked the piece of shit aisle. And cussed in front of my daughter for the first time. And now they know how I treat the machines at work.

[Cox Crow]

Same way I treat the machines at work!