Tuesday, September 16, 2003

How Can I Possibly Pass Up This Deal?

I was in the midst of an extremely stressful and frantic day in the office when something came by email that really lifted my spirits. Yes, after all these years on the internet, Hondo received his first, honest to goodness, Nigerian Email! I've left in all of the gramatical errors but deleted the email address (there are kiddies out there on the internet you know).

From: The Desk of:
Mr. Simon Shabangu
Credit Control Manager
Pacific Int'l Bank Plc.
Private Tel: +234-8037172377
Private Fax: +234-1-7591494
Confidential Email: [deleted]
Dear friend,
First, I must solicit your confidence in this
transaction. This is by virtue of its nature being
utterly confidential and top secret. We have decided
to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction,
as we have been reliably informed of your discretness,
trustworthy and ability to carry out legitimate
business.
THE PROPOSITION: A foreigner and American, Late Engr.
Neal Walker, an Oil merchant with the Federal
Government of Nigeria, until his death on an EgyptAir
Flight #990, which crashed into the Atlantic Ocean on
October 31, 1999, banked with us at the Pacific
International bank Plc., Lagos and had a closing
balance of US$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States
Dollars Only) as at the end of September, 2000.
Attached here is a CNN webpage on the unfortunate
crash in 1999:
http://www.cnn.com/US/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html
Valuable efforts have been made by the Pacific
International Bank Plc. to get in touch with any of
the Walker's family or relative, but to no avail. The
only Next of Kin address that was given to Pacific
International Bank Plc. by Late Engr. Neal Walker was
at Sierra Loene, West Africa, in the person of Mrs.
Mabel Brain. However, the said address was destroyed
during the last rebel crisis in Sierra Leone and the
woman was reportedly dead together with other United
Nations Officials.
It is because of the perceived impossibility of
locating a relative of the Late Engr. Neal Walker
(since they never gave birth to a child) that the
Pacific International Bank Plc. is making plans to
ceed the said amount to the Defence Ministry for the
procurement of weapons of war. In order to avert this
ugly situation, few of my colleagues and I have
decided to contact you and seek your permission to
have you stand as Next of Kin to Late Engr. Neal
Walker so that the total amount of US$10 Million
Dollars will be processed and released in your favour
into your personal account.
All documents and proofs to enable you get this fund
will be carefully worked out. We have secured from the
probate, an order of Madamus, to locate any of the
deceased beneficiary. Be rest assured that this
transaction is risk-free. Also, your share for
offering to assist us and provide the receiving
account will be 20% of the total sum, while 80% will
be for my colleagues and I, which also would be in
your account for safe custody and probable future
investment purpose in your country.
As soon as we receive an acknowledgement of your
willingness to accept our proposal, we shall furnish
you with further details as we concluded all
arrangements to have the money transferred to you
within 7 working days from the date of commencement.
If this proposal is acceptable to you, then furnish us
with your most confidential telephone and fax numbers
including the details of the receiving account
immediately, at which time an application for the fund
release will be forwarded in your favour.
Thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation.
Regards
Mr. Simon Shabangu

Now who could possibly pass up that deal! Who needs the lottery?
 
File under Stuff That Don't Fit Anywhere Else.

8:55:24 PM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []  

Snatching Defeat From The Jaws of Victory

OK. Never mind that the Jints didn't even wake up until the fourth quarter. How the hell do you kick the ball out of bounds with 11 seconds left? Are special teams going to do in the Giants again this year?

Dallas Ruins Giants' Comeback in Overtime. After a wild exchange of field goals in the final 11 seconds sent the game into overtime, Dallas defeated New York on a 25-yard kick by Billy Cundiff. By Lynn Zinser. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

Welcome home Tuna. We miss you.

File under From The Sports Desk.


7:58:56 AM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []