I was born and raised (OK... reared) in Hodgenville, Kentucky for my first 20 years, which certainly qualifies me as a small town boy (pop. 2600). To prove it, I still wave at every car I encounter on a two lane road. My parents are still there and Dad keeps me abreast of all that is happening, or not, from a place that I love dearly. He sent a message from Rural Kentucky in the form of a traveler's advisory today, parts of which I have posted because they are SO true.
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into the beautiful Bluegrass State of Kentucky, the state's Tourism Council has adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand rural Kentuckians, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:
That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. It was a cartoon. We got over it.
Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for . ... bait.
Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
So every person in every pickup waves . . . It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
And my favorite...There's only one basketball team in the Bluegrass state . . .. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. Any mention of any other team, who's mascot is a big red bird, and their backstabbing, traitor coach could get you shot.
There is a whloe lot of me in the twenty advisories and I recommend that you read them all before crossing the border.
I just received the final recommendations of the War Memorial Stadium Task Force that outlines the future useage of the historic landmark which will be enjoying its last season as the nation's oldest minor league ballpark this year. This is the version that will be presented to the Greensboro Parks & Recreation Commission, of whcih I am a member, on March 10th.
I am pleased that language was inserted recommending that the old stadium host community events and concerts. Such events would be compatible with my neighborhood and hopefully utilize something approaching the stadium's current 6,000 seat capacity from time to time.
The final public comment opportunity will be during the March 10th Parks & Rec Commission meeting. Speak then or forever hold your peace.
Snowed in with the kids so thought I would catch up on some email.
I have referred to a great friend of mine from Kentucky, via Georgia, via Kentucky before. Every now and again he and some current and ex-Kentuckians will start an email thread that can sometimes last for days. The latest series has rambled between the presidential priimary, public vs private schools, various "lacsivious repartee" and now... Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ.
Responding to a friend's review of the movie, John David (JD to us) types out his take on Gibson's marketing techniques while watching the 700 Club out of the corner of his eye:
". . 'niche marketing' i think they call it, with his doing it through the Christians and their congregations and fundamentalist organizations. . .and not only the movie itself, but also all the related trinketry, t-shirts, etc. Used to be done by Disney and others when they got up deals with the fast food folks and put movie related toys in the kids meals. Hard to imagine a kid finding a blood stained whip, nail or miniature cross in their Happy Meal, . . . nestled in a pile of greasy fries....
btw . .just watched Pat Roberson's 700 Club sharing their joy over the testimony that Mr. Gibson had provided for believers everwhere, then went straight to a plea for the 700 Clubbers to raise their level of committment to a higher membership level . .(hold it for a sec . . .can't type during the praying part) . . .OK, Amen..."
Here's the whole email. I have been urging JD to start a weblog as he is natural for the medium. That way the whole Bowling Green, Ky email food chain could show their unabashed cleverness to the world and I could simply link to it instead of all of this damn cut 'n paste.
I am hard pressed to single out my favorites among the list of "The Things I Have Learned While Working for a Newspaper" that Lex Alexander compiled to mark the 20th anniversary of his entry into journalism.
Here are some snippets that I, too, have had experience with... but read the whole thing:
Feces wash out.
Blood does too. Sometimes.
Never ascribe to conspiracy what can be adequately explained by incompetence.
Most politicians, at least at the local/state level, really do lie pretty shamelessly at times.
And they expect you to act like it's part of the game.
The best government is limited and transparent.
A lot of people who ought to know better do not believe either of those things.
If there's going to be a revolution, it won't be televised, but it'll definitely be blogged.
Lex works at the News & Record as an editor and, lately, again, a reporter on matters related to Project Homestead. One of things that intruiqes me about him is how he can refrain from blogging about local issues when I am confident he is busting at the seams to offer us his perspective. I am surprised he didn't include something about that in his list and will ask him about it when and if I have the pleasure of meeting him.
