I'm waiting for you, baby

I am just not up for writing anything here right now. But because I needed a laugh tonight, and maybe so do you, I'll post this poem I found some time back at Poetry Daily:

you bring out the boring white guy in me

for Christina Acosta

 

the Ward Cleaver in me. The Pat Boone

in me. The K-Mart in me. The Slurpee

in me. The boiled hotdog in me. The mac

and cheese in me. The Tang in me.

You bring out the Hamburger Helper

in me. You bring out the Twinkie

in me. The Cheez Whiz in me.

You bring out the bowling trophy

in me. The student council in me.

The parliamentary procedure in me.

The missionary position in me.

You bring out the canned vegetables

in me. The Jell-o in me. The training

wheels in me. You bring out

the lawn edger in me. The fast-food

drive-thru window in me. The Valu

Meal in me. You bring out the white

briefs in me. You bring out

the cheap beer and weak coffee

in me. You bring out the 15%

tip chart in me. The sad overweight

weekend golfer in me. You bring out

the ex-smoker in me. The jumper

cables in the trunk with flares

and the red flag to tie to the window

in me. You bring out the Tony Orlando

in me. The canned situation comedy

laughter in me. The elevator music

in me. You bring out the medley

of TV commercial jingles in me.

The Up with People in me.

I've come to a complete stop

at the stop sign. I've got my

emergency flashers on. My doors

are locked, baby,

I'm waiting for you.

Jim Daniels
Indiana Review
Celebrating 25 Years
Volume 25, Number 1
Summer 2003

 

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