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"Coincidence," you say? To emphatically reiterate my point: it is my contention that it mathematically defies the laws of probability that Hirsh and Venice are not related." --sniggy (2007)

"Whatever the reason, Norton Avenue was a deliberate choice." -Larry Harnisch, (1997)

"The Black Dahlia case will never be solved. It will remain a gaping, black hole in the annuals of Los Angeles crime."--John Gilmore, (2007)

"I, unlike most, read my posts sever times before hitting that send button." --Pamela Hazelton, (2007)

"Beyond the fact that you are exceptionally rude, for the record, I don't know who you are, or what your "work" is or what "map" you are talking about". --Steve Hodel, (2007).

        

Friday, October 26, 2007

So-called mystery writers of America

Big news! More outright hilarity at Beth Central.  Steve Ho' Daddy Hodel, it seems has been a So Cal mystery writer since 2003?  Now, I'm sure he's always been something of a mystery, but he's no writer. Just a has-been cop, he pimps shitty ghosted books with his name on them. He's an hamfisted fraud, a walking obstruction of justice in the Short case. That letter to Hazelton is strictly sob story flatulence. Touchy-feely tripe. No relation to the annealed prose, and keen human insight of the noir school. So poorly written and stilted, it would shame a sixth grader. Well, maybe not a California sixth grader. I blame Howard Jarvis.

I Googled this So Cal Mystery Writers of America. I wondered what real writer would join a club with such a limp monicker? You decide. The splash page gave me an effing headache already. The very loud splash music (The Big Sleep? How?) really only adds to the pain level. I don't recommend it.

Arrah! All these clunky SP's, chatrooms, userforums, not to mention bound books, it's all so retrograde 1990's obsolete high tech. It's like being back on an AOL dialup. Slow, slower, and slowest. Chatrooms, you say? No! Those are strictly for the crackheads, the crystal meth smoking touch typists who rule the roost by overwhelming the lesser hunterpeckers with their sheer volume of multiple keystrokes and effortless use of emoticons and exotic smilies. Lucidity was and is, strictly optional.

They don't want the story to ever end. They enjoy the attention, and are terrified that some Finnegan will one day come back from the dead and steal it all away from them by solving their favorite unsolved murder case. But denial is a long river in the desert, and Finnegan doesn't do encores, so they needn't worry over that. Tim's already been there and did just that. 

Meantime, I suggest communtiy college night school creative writing classes for the masses remaining at Pity Pam dotcom. Pam is rendered pitiable through some business reverses it seems, and contemplates major changes to her creaky, sour, old website and is the only one they really need fear, lest she pull the plug on their oh, so callous cause. Lining their own pockets by selling Elizabeth Short short. Wrung in a dry hole? Scratch one flattopped website. And then they're all banned. Kapos and peons. The horror, they'll have to come by here and piss on my cornflakes. For sure. Your comments are always welcome here.


8:05:34 AM    comment 

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