You Have A Bad Airline Pilot When...

- You overhear him say on the intercom, "Hey, Pedro, What's this gizmo do?"

- For the past two hours, you've been going straight up.

- He says, "We're cruising at an altitude of 45 feet."

- Announces on the intercom that "We're now passing over the Grand Canyon or the Panama Canal."

- Co-pilot is sitting on his lap.

- When you take off he yells, "Weeeeeeeeee!"

- He's wearing a Domino's Pizza uniform  11:15:44 PM     Add a comment   

It was a great store, but I'm not lucky enough to live in the islands, so for now I'll have to make do with the most picturesque Fred Meyer store I've ever seen.  10:50:53 PM     Add a comment   

It's satire, people :)  8:19:21 PM     Add a comment   

1) Combine the two upstairs bedrooms into one master suite. I'm thinking bedroom, sitting room/library, walk in closet.

2) Make the upstairs bathroom big enough to turn around in without bumping into the wall and the toilet. Copnnect it to the new master suite.

3) Raise the ceilings in my living room. Maybe the kitchen too.

4) Build a deck, either in front of my house or on top of the garage.

5) If everything looks groovy when I'm done, consider making those same changes to my 'analog' house.  7:44:35 PM     Add a comment   

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

7:36:22 PM     Add a comment