licentious radio

Friday, June 28, 2002
[11:50:27 PM]

Supreme Court rules earnings should be protected as "art" [satirewire.com]: "Yes, well, a man with a concretized view of the world may only be able to see numbers that 'Don't add up,'" said a haughty Sullivan. "But someone whose perceptions are not always chained to reality -- a stock analyst, say -- may see numbers that, like the human spirit, aspire to be greater than they are."

[11:41:34 PM]

Naughty spin-on-this.com! BUSH PEACE MESSAGE: 'F*CK OFF RAGHEAD'
(POSTED 25 06 02) George W Bush outlined his vision for the Middle East and also thanked Ariel Sharon for writing "such a purdy li'l speech for me." Whitehouse officials denied however that Sharon actually ventriloquised the speech and said the President had insisted on reading it out loud himself. The Bush Vision has two main strands. First it urges Israel to "do whatever you like boys!", second it demands that Palestinians "just f*ck off and die." Bush ended by saying it was vital that peace was restored to Israel - "so we can start to bomb the sh*t out of Saddam real soon!"

[11:39:35 PM]

Not much press for the only real Al Qaida threat. Al Qaida claimed they would use semi-automatic pistols and commercially available assault rifles to terrorize America. Meanwhile John Ashcroft prevents the FBI from using the weapons-purchase database in the terrorism investigations. You gotta have priorities, after all.

[5:48:07 PM]

No, no, no! Never "justify" text in html. Even in your blog. Repeat after me: "I will not type 'align=justify'. I will not type 'align=justify'."

You see justified text in books. In books, they hyphenate words. Web browsers don't hyphenate (yet).

The most important thing about text is reading it. The way to make text easy to read, is keep the spaces between words even, and put "enough" space between lines.

In html, you can't do much about the space between words and letters, but you can easily add space between lines:

all your precious words here....

</div>

Play with the line-height, but don't justify!

[5:34:02 PM]
Archive of jokes, faux press releases and more is at the link called Stories.

Don't miss:

What did Mae West say to the energy executives?

Bill Clinton and Little George's Teachers encouraged them.

Rumsfeld keeps straight face.

[4:13:42 PM]
I'm tellin' ya....

The news today is Xerox's books are off by $2 billion. Their accountants *were* KPMG, the gangsters finding all of Andersen's fraud over at WorldCom. The new auditors at Xerox are PricewaterhouseCooper; called in to find KPMG's fraud.

Dig the headlines: "$2 billion". But the article says it's more like $6 billion. Is the head of Xerox working on a chain-gang now? No! Bush's SEC whitewasher gave the company a $10 million fine. WHAT? SIX BILLION DOLLAR fraud, and the fine for the company is less than a CEO's bonus for firing 10,000 workers?

Bring us their heads!

[1:21:34 PM]
Patrick Buchanan [wnd.com]: "Whenever Palestinians or Israelis seem to be moving toward the peace table, Hamas snaps that red cape of bloody terror in the face of Ariel Sharon, and Sharon dutifully imitates the raging bull."

You know this is stupid, just because Patrick Buchanan is saying it.

Sharon may be insane, but he isn't stupid. Sharon provoked the whole intifada as a campaign trick, and whenever the (Palestinian) terrorists slacked off, provoked them to retaliate by having IDF murder their leaders. Sharon knows that Israeli attacks will provoke continued violence. That's certainly why the state terrorism will continue.

If Israel were to let up, peace could break out in a flash, and Sharon's precious settlements would have to be given back to Palestine.

[11:14:58 AM]
Name One Thing [TheDailyBrew.com]: "I would ask, since the Republicans took over complete control of our government two years ago, can you name one thing that has gotten better? Whether we are talking about jobs, the environment, the health care system, the capital markets, or the even the social fabric, can you name one thing? The answer for a vast, vast majority of Americans is no."

[10:41:54 AM]
The chain-gang for Kenny Boy and all the other kleptocrats.

[8:50:56 AM]
GUARDIAN: "In the West Bank town of Qalqiliya yesterday, Israeli soldiers opened fire on a group of children who were outside despite the curfew, wounding three, including a nine-year-old boy who was shot in the head and today fighting for his life."

Dear Palestine,

Instead of three children in the streets, you should have a million. The terrorists will only keep Israeli soldiers in your towns. If you want the Israelis to leave, you must decide to throw them out without violence.