licentious radio

Saturday, June 29, 2002
[4:18:23 PM]

Nation's fascists, political whores, and morons support pledge: "A group of Democratic Congress-men insisted they were every bit as retarded as the Republicans, but polls show 69% of Americans don't believe them."

[1:20:13 PM]

If Sharon can't pacify Palestine by fall, the invasion of Iraq may not come in time to save Republicans in the November elections. Expect, then, a pre-emptive strike against another target in September. Licentious Radio suggests Sudan. The only drawback is that Suddan starts with the same letter as Somalia, but even dim W. could explain to the nation that Sudan is actually a whole different country.

It should be a Granada-like operation: blow up a few things in front of news cameras, round up some suspects, rescue some cute American chicks, and get out before anyone can ask whether there was really any threat. Licentious Radio can provide casting agency contacts for the cute American chicks.

(For goodness sakes don't mention that Sudan offered to turn Bin Laden over to Bush, but Bush refused -- out of personal loyalty to the family business partner.)

[10:51:14 AM]
BuzzFlash points out that George W. Bush could never get a job as a New York City police officer, because of his DWI conviction. The NYC police department has standards.

Of course there's no similar requirement for the position of commander-in-chief of the United States military. Turns out, you can even be commander-in-chief if you deserted the army during a war. Who would have thought that?

[10:47:46 AM]
AP reports on Bush-Cheney's willful disregard of terrorism before September 11....

"President Bush's national security leadership met formally nearly 100 times in the months prior to the Sept. 11 attacks yet terrorism was the topic during only two of those sessions, officials say."

By contrast, the team that actually stopped some (real) terrorist attacks:

"Clinton officials said their council principals met every two to three weeks to discuss terrorist threats after mid-1998. Those meetings increased during times of heightened terrorist concerns, such as immediately prior to the millennium celebrations, when the principals met nearly every day to discuss threat levels."

What was Condi doing when she was leaving America wide open to attack by friends of the Bush family?

"Bush's principals committee was focused on missile defense, Iraq, China, international economic policy, global warming and the U.S. stance toward Russia, a subject of particular interest to National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, a Russian expert who has now worked for both Bush presidents."

Condi's sole claim to foreign policy expertise is her complete misunderstanding of the Soviet Union. She preferred spending her time misunderstanding Russia instead of protecting America from terrorists.

AP is too kind to mention that the NSA was leaning on the Taliban to agree to a pipeline, leaning on India to pay for Enron's failed power plant, and putting "global warming" on the list is just hilarious -- the NSA was about assassinating any effort to reduce global warming.

The Bushista's attempts to defend themselves are wildly pathetic: "There were lots of conversations on the margins at meetings or informal meetings. But the first formal meeting was to review the draft policy."

Bring us their heads!

[10:24:14 AM]
Unemployment up, fear up, jobs down, debt up.... Ari Fleischer insists: "The president is proud of his record on the economy, the environment, foreign policy and education..."

We believe Bush has been more successful than he could have dreamed -- at destroying the economy, and squeezing every bit of wealth possible from the bottom 98%. Plus, he hit the trifecta.