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Friday, September 02, 2005
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Inst amongst all my Clem sorrow, I've also been immersed in my work project. Which, actually is a very good thing. The project has kept me from drowning in tears.
 This weekend is the big weekend - as I type, we're in the midst of go live operations and I'm wearing my go live t-shirt that reads We put the "labor" back into Labor Day Weekend.
Go Live involves multiple teams and takes several days. The legacy team finished their work at 11:00 AM this morning and handed off to my conversion team. The conversion team has absolutely blizted the schedule - knock on wood!!! We made up a big chunk of time that had been lost on the legacy front and we've even managed to pull a bit ahead of schedule. We're pretty excited. The conversion phase is scheduled to last into the wee hours of early Sunday morning - we're basically on the go for almost 48 hours.
I hope I don't jinx us, but this has been a lot of fun - we've practiced, refined, tuned, etc. As a result, we're doing quite well and it's been very gratifying. My team is killer!!!!
Oh - and during a break in the action, I also learned how to engineer animated gifs in photoshop. I am very pleased with myself. I can't decide which is more impressive - my animated gifs or our account conversion success factor of 99.995%!!!!!
10:44:42 PM 
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It's been a really rough couple of days - but I'm hanging in there. For the first two days, I was pretty much a sobbing machine. But I'm doing better - I'm not breaking down every ten minutes. I do o.k. - unless someone asks how I'm doing. Then I start crying all over again. I've cried so much that my left eye is all plugged up and swollen. It looks like I have some sort of disease.
The condolences I received were just wonderful. They really helped.
In addition to the sheer emotional pain, which was of course expected, I've been stunned by the void. Clemmie's death has left a huge physical and emotional void. The house is so quiet. I never realized how much noise a dog makes - even when they're sleeping. The house is just completely still and empty. The lack of sound, of dog sounds, has hit all of us incredibly hard. Peter, Seth, and I are floored by it. What a true void.
The emotional part is huge - Clem and I were a pair - and I knew that. But I didn't realize how integrated we really were. Last night, as I was laying in bed, I realized something. I now get why she always waited at the door for me to come home. She was waiting for her partner - she didn't know when (or if, for sure) I was coming home. So she was there waiting. I know now, that I'd wait a very long time for Clem to come back. To come home.
5:01:08 PM
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© Copyright 2005 Stephanie A. Kesler.
Last update: 10/1/2005; 3:48:32 PM.
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