Tuesday, January 21, 2003

I was just pondering the notion of my own idealism as naivety, in terms of how I operate in my world, and operate in relation to other people, with as much compassion and kindness as I can strongly muster. And it's not naivety, in that I'm completely aware of how others may perceive kindness as weakness, or not engage or disengage because I don't play the games, even though I know how, in sales, in organizing, in dating. It's not naivety - I choose to engage the world on my own terms, whether or not the world embraces those terms itself. Planet Ben.  Fiona still has a little bump on her head from her first bruise yesterday. I sat and watched a Baby Einstein video with her today. It was a little trippy, short, highly visual, real and representational video and animated segments. I know what a duck looks like in so many different manifestations that I feel like I've experienced some crazy duck mandala. It would be a great stoner video. And digital Mozart and Bach and Beethoven, which made me think, listening first from the other room, that she was watching a kiddie version of Clockwork Orange.  3:39:20 PM

As I was madly gesticulating in our meeting with Skystone Ryan today, Jack Kerber asked me not to break their stuff, since my chair was bumping into something behind me. I'm so so not slick, but even less so when I try to be. So it's all good. Now that the momentum is going on Syzygy, I'm calmer now. I can't worry about those balls even, not give them an ocassional touch, and let them land when they're ready.   3:03:18 PM