Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Home improvements are solipsism. No one thinks that someone else will come along and paint after, redecorate after, and so projects are treated as if they are the last, the final layer of paint, the carpet over the nasty stairs, the wallpaper over the cracks. The last layer of worker, the final mover, gets to fix all the other minor oversights, which, when added together, make the smallest project seem huge. And I think, as a result of all this mess and fumes, when all is finished here, that I'm going to have six-fingered babies. Looking beyond the aesthetics of the deformity, I'm actually looking forward to extra-numerary kids. They'll probably make better scrapers and sanders and painters.   11:21:27 AM

A woman at Lafayette's last night asked if Dan and I were playing Golden Tee with cash or using a card. I looked at her with amazement and exclaimed, "They have cards for these things. If you ever catch me getting a card for this game, just shoot me." She looked crestfallen, as if she was hoping those two cute guys were also cool enough to have Golden Tee Cards. I told her I hoped I hadn't insulted her, hoped she didn't have a card. She said she didn't, but that her friends did, that it was like gambling, they won money. I shook my head again in amazement, and chuckled. I told Dan that the fact that people had cards made me proud of my 12 over par. Dan later admitted that he had a card. I reiterated that fact that if I ever get one, please shoot me. 10:12:11 AM