Sunday, May 23, 2004

I wonder how much of the path towards enlightenment resembles first blushes at lucid dreaming, choosing and altering general themes, and then rewinding and rescripting entire events in the subconsious dream world, except you're conciously manipulating the world, drawing on, presumably, some of the same energy that focuses us in our dream worlds. One of the thoughts that provokes for me is that there are people with access to that level of power and control who are functioning from a scarcity and fear model. And others focused on an abundance model. And still some others who are, in fact evil, looking specifically for the chaotic destruction of others, and ultimately, one presumes, self. I also wonder how much of our own general energies are projected onto and through the leaders we select, that they somehow embody that energy. It could explain why we don't hear a whole lot about leaders we know from history to be evil having incredible sexual energy, like Bill Clinton, JFK, MLK, even, as I understand it, Ghandi - they have a lot of good ju ju flowing into them and through them, and that's a tricky thing to recognize and manage properly - it must just feel like unsatiable sexual energy in an over physically oriented, stimulated world. That the opposite of that energy contracts the creative impulse, possibly even triggering it's opposite extreme - killing other people, the classic struggle between thanatos and libidos. The Ecoliner Franke at the restaurant is dying. I realized it tonight when I was trying to produce a pitcher of hot water, and it sputtered and sputtered out in several sessions what it once delivered in  a few punches of the key. I was so sad, not only by realizing the machine was doing to die, but that I never even realized I had a relationship with the machine. I woke up to the Franke more weekend mornings than any other human being I've known, touched the user interface, cleaned the parts, fixed broken tubes, given it more routine and emergency care than any lover, taking for granted that the machine would always pull perfect espresso shots. And I was sad that one simple design change, probably not feasible, would likely extend the lifetime of the instrument, who's brains are right next to the mechanical and hydrolic elements of the machine itself, subject to shaking and temperature change that would fry any home CPU, even super charged, super cooled gaming computers. If the CPU were located elsewhere, and the machine itself networked - you could even use existing CPU power, rather than building the hardware into the machine itself - they're not supercomputer commands, just simple switches, open up this solenoid for so many seconds after the water temperature rise to this many degrees, tamp this amount of espresso to this PSI or this many seconds (probably doesn't even have a feedback measure to adjust for different humidities and bean densities, let only user based immediate feedback judging the subjective taste of an espresso beverage) - if you had problems, you'd be swapping out an almost throw away NIC, rather than a highly proprietary, expensive circuit board. It also dawned on me later, as I was making a sanity check with some fellow waiters about my new found empathy for a machine, that part of the lesson was the importance of recognizing and establishing a real relationship with my father before he dies, that reliable machine of my youth. I'm not going to be able to change his physical design elements to extend his lifetime, but I may be able to download some of those most critical routines into my own machinery. Had a good conversation with some Canucks tonight - I think Scott may be parading me as an example of a crazy Canadian American, someone who sees my country more from their perspective, perhaps, than seemingly my own. It made me realize, in discussing my great pride and concern for the things my country is doing right now that we went from this almost global recognition of the importance we have played in securing democracy, especially in battling fascism, as a result of our victimhood with 9/11, the whole world going from an almost collective disgust with American barbarism on so many levels, to an appreciation of what our rustic frontiersman ways helped secure, to marvel at the fact that we were suddenly becoming fascists ourselves. We also talked about how despite the fact that the American Revolution in operation replaced a colonial aristocracy with a more localized gentry, the founding fathers, I believe, to the best of their ability at the time, were trying to secure a brighter future. Which is most evinced in our system of constitutional law. Yes, the set up is not perfect, but it allows for change, it has allowed the growth in power by those deliberately disenfranchised by the original constitution. And I still believe we have the chance to redemocratize society. 3:34:33 AM