It's a Whiny Crybaby Sort of Day
Maybe if I get it all out of my system, I'll be able to get back to stuff that matters right now!
I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of it taking a whole day to finish some simple chore that should have taken only a few minutes. I'm really tired of living in a dump because I'm too broke to hire someone to help with the housework. (I do have good friends who help out when they can but I certainly can't and don't expect them to do everything for me just out of the goodness of their hearts.)
I'm tired of my friends all having such busy lives that they don't have time to just hang out with me. Actually, I'm mostly just mad that I can't be out there doing stuff with them like I used to. Everything takes way more energy and/or money than I have anymore. So I spend way too much time with just the tv and the internet for company. So far I haven't gone totally bonkers... Though during these moments when I'm feeling overwhelmed I start thinking maybe I am just nuts after all.
I'm tired of wondering if I'll ever have a reliable income again. I've pretty much given up on the idea of ever having enough but I'd at least like to be able to count on paying my bills on time...
I'm tired of having all these health issues—and no health insurance. "Oh, once you get on SSI you'll be able to get right back on Medicaid." Well, my Medicaid was cancelled last November—and I still don't have a hearing date from SSI. Any bets on how long it will be before I can actually see a doctor again for help as I try to get to be a little healthier? No thanks to an HMO doctor I was stuck with for years who just said "lose weight" anytime I'd ask him for help with the problems that caused the weight gain in the first place. Finally got switched to a new doctor who actually paid attention to what I told him and had useful suggestions but of course then my Medicaid got yanked because my son wasn't living at home as my dependent any longer. (Guess it's okay if I just drop dead as long as my kid's not here to see it happen.)
I'm tired of NOISE. Yes, I chose to live in an area where there's a good bit of noise from both ground and air traffic and I can deal with that routine stuff. But add in all the jerks who think that everybody in a mile radius wants to listen to their car stereo. And a huge construction project less than a block away. And of course the usual from the Upstairs Neighbor, the Dog Who Barks All Night, people on the next block who routinely have screaming matches at the top of their lungs out in their yard any time day or night, kids playing in the street, etc. Yes, I know. Nobody has any consideration for their neighbors anymore...
I'm tired of smiling tv newscasters telling me that the weather's going to be wonderful for the holiday weekend. Hey, you jerks, the air is BROWN and I can barely breathe!!! That sure doesn't meet my criteria for "wonderful" weather. I'm tired of feeling guilty everytime I have to take more pills to keep breathing. (I'm tired of continually having to figure out how to pay for all those pills.)
ETC. ETC. ETC.
Well, so much for that. I still don't really feel any better. Probably won't until we've had a good storm with lots of wind and rain to scrub the air clean. (I'm tired of not being able to control the weather!)
4:46:46 PM 
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Road Hazards!
