Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I've Been Thinking . . .

. . . about how I'm going to end this little dance with my Nigerian scam artist Johnson. I'm getting bored with this. Judging by the number of comments I'm getting (if anybody is even reading this) the public at large must be bored too. Anyway, here's today's latest:

> MY DEAR FRIEND,
>
> HOW ARE YOU TODAY?I BELIEVE YOU MUST HAVE BEEN BACK ON YOUR FEET BY NOW?GLORY
> BE TO GOD.I DID WAITED FOR YOUR CALL,WELL SINCE I DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU,I HOPE
> EVERTHING IS ALRIGHYT?
>
> I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
> REMAIN BLESSED.
>
>
> JOHNSON.

And my response:

Dear Johnson

Well I'm back in the land of the living. Surprisingly I don't feel too bad - just left with some bruising. The doctors were worried about my concussion - that's why they kept me in. It's only in this small village that an accident like that could happen - not many people come across ponies and traps in larger towns and cities. I must say I didn't realize what was happening until my leg got pulled from under me as the rein caught it. Then I was dragged quite a way along the road until the pony eventually came to a halt. It could have been a lot worse so I'm grateful that there was no other traffic around that I could have been dragged into. Anyway as you can guess I wasn't able to make the Western Union office on Tuesday so I'm going to go later this afternoon just before it closes. I'll send you the details afterwards. Thanks for your good wishes.

C. Bawls

Well, here's what I figure I'm going to do. It doesn't seem that these guys read the emails too closely. I'm going to see just how much attention they're paying. It's time to bring Mr. Bawls' greedy lawyer, Buster Hyman, Esq. into the picture. Now, it's going to become obvious to Johnson that he's not getting his money wired to Benin tomorrow. I think I'll let him stew a day or so and email Mr. Bawls trying to find out what happened. Then I'll inject Mr. Hyman into the equation, claiming that he eliminated Mr. Bawls and Ms. Abner from the picture. That's eliminated with extreme prejudice. Maybe Mr. Hyman will even send Johnson some pictures (Photoshopped of course) as proof. Then we'll have Mr. Hyman demand that the money be wired to him, or he'll blow the whistle on the whole deal.

Sweet. Let's see if Johnson goes for it.

File under Nigerian Email Buddies.

8:31:54 PM

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