Ramblings of a Technology Addict

Monday, June 2, 2003

Déjà Vu

Got a heavy dose of Déjà Vu this morning as I was on my commute. The weather here in DC this morning was mighty chilly for early June, just 54 this morning as I walked up the street to catch the bus. Reading Cryptonomicon I was reminded of another commute, some four years ago, over 3000 miles away.
In the summer following my Junior year of college, I would get up very very early and drive the hour plus into Richmond to catch BART to work in the Financial District in San Francisco. Coming up the escalator at Embarcadero, I always felt so small amongst the skyscrapers. I'd walk up Market St. reading my book and get a hot bagel at Noah's there on Battery Street before turning down Sansome and up past the Cable Car line. The chill of summer morning in San Francisco on my cheek. The smell of the city and freshly baking bread.
Washington doesn't smell the same, but that didn't stop me from feeling distinctly younger and farther away this morning as I read the same book that I did four summers ago, walking up the street here in the District. There's something about the City. The smells, the people, the noise and feel. DC hasn't ever felt like home until now.
Dave and I had a long conversation about what we want to do, where we want to end up and how we want to get there, as we waited for a certain asshat landlord on Saturday. We've both realized that our goal is to return home a more worldly person than when we left some 7 years ago, but that we're not ready just yet. I think that it's like an orbit. I've travelled miles and miles these past 7 years, growing as I've done it. I've lived in Ohio and Virginia, each place further from where I began, but the dream of coming back home is a strong one. To be welcomed by the community that I left, that is such a strong dream for me. To come home and rest, to truly be home, is where I long to be.
But then, I am reminded..."And Miles to go before I sleep." Frost's words bearing heavy on my soul that I may have gone far, but there is exploring to do before I return to my home.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

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