Saturday, April 03, 2004

As You Like It One of my biggest pet peeves is the overuse of the word like, mainly by the youth of America.  Maybe "like" works in all other languages and is being pounded to death by teenagers in countries around the world, but for all I know, "like" is an American disease of which teens are the main carriers.  I'm not sure how long "like" has been around.  I know Shakespeare was liking like back in the day.  But at least he was using it sparingly and correctly.  At some point along the way, "like" became what it is today:  filler. Example:  "Mr. Anderson was like not wanting to like talk to the Agents in like The Matrix so they held him down and like raped him." That's a sentence you hear every five seconds in any high school across the United States.  Well maybe not that sentence, but many just... well, many similar to it. Just try listening to a typical teenager for five minutes and count how many times that word leaves their lips.  You may not be able to keep up.  Students I had last year in fourth period may remember when I'd sit there and make beeping noises anytime someone said "like."  Beep... beep... beep... beepbeepbeep... BEEEEEEP!!!!  I'd do that until whoever was over-liking would get the hint and like shut the hell up. So what I'm getting at is this:  if you are a teenager, take a long look at yourself and your rather limited vocabulary and decide whether or not you are afflicted with this hideous disease.  If so, as always, the first step is admitting you have a problem.  Don't be in denial and go to school on Monday saying, "Mr. Mauldin was like being a jerk on his website this weekend.  He was like we say 'like' too much.  What an a-hole." No, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.  If you can do that, then you are already halfway there.  Luckily for you, I have a plan to get you the rest of the way.  Here's the incredibly simple solution:  hit yourself in the head with a hammer every time you say the word "like."  Not a simple tap, but a good solid whack.  Trust me this will work.  Eventually you'll stop saying it one way or another. Related links: Like Totally:  Grammar critics are annoyed at the word's staying power Likeness:  An essay about the word like Like, wow!:  A radio commentary on the overuse of like 10:18:47 AM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.