Wednesday, April 21, 2004

And The Award Goes To As much as I like knowing what the best of something is (best book, best hotel, best beer, best antiperspirant in clear stick form), I get a nice kick out of being notified of what the worst is.  Whenever a channel does a special on "Worst Movie Love Scenes Ever!!!,"  I'm there.  I'm there with my bells on and hoping against all hope that I can name the absolute crappiest of the crappy before their countdown gets to number one. So imagine my mixed emotions when I saw an article on CNN naming some magazine named Blender's picks as the worst songs ever.  Sounds great at first, but then they ruin the whole game by announcing the #1 song right before you can get into the article.  Since they peed in my Cheerios by ruinning the suspense, I might as well pee in the bowls of those who didn't click on the article yet:  it's "We Built This City" by Starship.  Now let me be the first to admit that I don't think I would have pulled that song out before #1 if they'd done a reverse countdown.  Not that Blender didn't make an inspired choice.  Au contraire!  It's just one of those songs that I hate so much that I don't ever think about it, even when I'm thinking about songs I hate. No, I would have gone with something easy like "Say, Say, Say" by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney, or anything by Limp Bizkit.  But no, this Blender fellow fought his demons, ventured back into the cave o'crap music, and pulled out "We Built This City."  Awesome. For you youngin's out there who don't know this song, pirate the sucker off Kazaa or where ever you get your porn.  Then sit back and soak in the fact that Starship (first known as Jefferson Airplane - then Jefferson Starship - then just Starship - now known as unemployed), the band that couldn't even decide what to name itself for more than five minutes, announced to the world that they -- no one else -- they built this city on rock and roll. Truly a milestone in lyrical crap.  Unfortunately I now have that milestone wedged in my head like a coffin nail and can't get it out.  Thanks, Blender. You can check out some of the other songs on the list by reading the article.  Some I don't agree with.  Not that they aren't worthy of mention, but I can easily think of others that may have been overlooked ("Shiny Happy People" anyone?). "YMCA"? "Electric Youth"? Related links: The Worst Cars of All Time Worst Album Covers The 100 Worst Films of the 20th Century Worst Game Room Ever! 8:51:17 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.