Friday, August 13, 2004

Opening Ceremonies Just got done watching the opening ceremonies for the Greek edition of the Olympics.  I must say it was better than what I expected.  With all the talk of the facilities not being ready on time, I assumed they might have cut corners on the usually extravagance we've come to expect from these things. Nope.  They had the usual freakery going on. The couple fornicating in the pool was a nice frisky start.  Then the centaur prancing about and the naked guy statues with their carvings hanging out.  Then they top it off with the pregnant E.T. woman.  Those Greeks really outdid themselves.  Welcome to our Big, Fat Greek Orgy. Then the Parade of Nations.  That always zips by, doesn't it?  Nice twist to use the Greek alphabet to organize the countries.  Now I had no clue when I could get up to take a squirt without missing the United States.  And how about those Frenchies waving Greek flags?  How do you say "Suck up" in French? So after two numbing hours of "where the hell is Eritrea?" Bjork came out to remind us that there was more bizarreness to go with a song that contains lyrics about your sweat being salty.  Oh, and nice dress. Then the guy with the flag running through the tapes and falling on his face at World War I, but not on his face at World War II.  Why?  What was the thought process there?  After falling on his face the first time, I had my hopes way up for WWII.  What a let down! Oh, and the speeches.  I'd have enjoyed them more if, after over three butt-numbing hours, I wasn't slipping.  Into.  A.  Coma. As far as the lighting of the flame went, I was hoping they'd set that olive tree on fire.  That would have been cool. Instead we got a kinda creepy, cannon-looking thing bending down to the torch bearer.  Looked for all the world that it was there to keep the crowd under control for our new alien overlords.  Must admit it looked pretty good once it raised back up into position.  Now if it had launched a fireball up into the night sky, I'd have given the whole show a 10.  Instead I have to deduct points for Bjork and the statue porn.   Here's to China getting their firework fetish working in four years.  Related site: Athens 2004:  official site 11:22:39 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.