DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN SLOGANS
Boy, I thought the Dems were screwed before. Now that Saddam's in
custody, the whole party has become almost completely irrelevant.
Nevertheless, they have to toss a sacrificial goat on the
altar of the 2004 Presidential election, and there are currently 9
demented, twitching ogres eager to throw themselves on the pyre.
Being a loyal American, I want to do my part to help one of them commit
political suicide, so here, in accordance with this week's Alliance Precision Guided Humor Assignment, are my suggestions for some Democratic campaign slogans:
Dennis Kucinich - Now that I'm no longer desecrating your dead sons, I'd like to defile your live daughters (link via Frizzen Sparks).
Dennis Kucinich Your women, I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your childrens!
Carol Moseley Braun - Twice as diverse as Al Sharpton.
Carol Moseley Braun Vote for me - unless youre a racist misogynist.
John Kerry - Pardon my French
Howard Dean - Not to be confused with Howard the Duck.
Joe Lieberman - Because Al Gore used to like me.
Joe Lieberman - Don't worry, Gentiles, he'll still let you celebrate Christmas
Al Sharpton - Joe Stalin's politics, Kim Jong Il's hair
Rev. Al - putting "God" back into "God dammit, cracker, you better vote for me!"
Hillary Clinton - You know I can lick Bush. Wait... did that sound dirty? Nevermind.
Hillary Clinton - Now, more than ever. Because by 2008, I'll have died from the syphillis that Bill gave me.
Dick Gephardt Dick and Jane run for the White House. Run, Dick. Run, Jane. Run! Run! Run!
Dick Gephardt - As Aryan as you wanna be.
Wesley Clark Riding the short bus to the Presidency
John Edwards Vote for me or my Klingon hordes will destroy you!
Or they can just go with the all-purpose Democrat slogan:
"It's not fair! Bush never should've won in the first place! Stupid electoral college! WAAAAAAHHHH!"
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 11:20:33 PM permalink HOME
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