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  Sunday, November 30, 2003


PGH DONKTIONARY DEFINITIONS


My answers for this week's Precision Guided Humor assignment:


Write some definitions for the Donktionary.


*******************


Anti-American: Stifling the dissent of brave anti-war protesters by demonstrating their idiocy via facts or logic


Appeasement: The only effective strategy for dealing with terrorists


Bigotry: Speaking while white


Censorship: Not watching "Bowling for Columbine"


Conservative: Non-communist


Diversity: Having every color of the rainbow in your organization. NOTE: White is not a color


Europe: Where to look for models of governmental wisdom. No fair asking why I don't just move there


Fox News: AAAAAHHHHH! Satan!


Fundamentalist: Dangerous, enthusiastic believer in the correctness of a religion. Islam doesn't count.


Halliburton: Evil corporate war profiteer


Jingoism: Saying "America" without spitting


Lie: see Fox News


Liberal: an inaccurate smear concocted by narrow-minded conservatives to describe "mainstream Americans"


Mainstream: the beliefs of average Americans, as reported by ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and the New York Times


NPR: Fair and balanced


Oil: Cause of war and environmental destruction. I just wish my Volkswagen didn't leak so much of it.


Patriot: One who points out the continuing deception of the un-elected Bush Adminstration


Quagmire: Any war not started by a Democratic president, except for Viet Nam, which John Kerry bravely served in.


Racism: Any opinion voiced by a damn cracker-ass honky.


Tolerance: Not immediately beating the crap out of any damn cracker-ass honky who starts spouting racism.


UN: Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are our only hope


Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Lies and the lying liars who tell them


Weapons of Mass Destruction: Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical weapons possessed by oppressive regimes not headed by
badly-moustached dictators - such as America.


****************


SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!


posted by Harvey at 6:13:51 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME





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