THANKSGIVING
(A FILTHY LIE)
I've been wondering about Evil Glenn's penchant for murdering hobos for a while. Examine this photo of Evil Glenn's first hobo-murdering experience. That's not actually a hobo. That's a clown dressed up to look like a hobo. Which makes me think that the whole hobo-murdering thing is due to some sort of transference of his hatred for something else.
At first I thought Evil Glenn just hated clowns. Which I can DEFINITELY understand. I mean, clowns are grown men who wear make-up and want to have little children sit on their laps. *shudder* Creepy!
But it turns out that Evil Glenn hates all manner of deranged circus folk. And the reason is simple. Evil Glenn's family is a bunch of circus freaks. And I can prove it.
Here's a picture of Evil Glenn carving up a roast puppy for Thanksgiving. I can't tell what breed. Possibly beagle. But this is just one closely cropped picture. Where's the rest of Evil Glenn's family? Well, I hacked into his image-hosting server, and found the rest of Glenn's holiday pictures.
Here are his mom & dad.
Here's his sister Pat, the bearded lady, who currently runs the Cirque de Blenderre.
His brothers Jim Bob & Bubba Joe
His other brother Flappy Tim
His sister, Wattled Wanda, who, judging by her thighs, might be the love child that Hillary Clinton gave up for adoption.
Tim's boy, Flappy Junior.
His cousins Sheep-Head Ted and Wooly Wally
His other cousin, Half-Bod Todd.
And even his nephew, Nipply Ned.
I imagine it's hard for Evil Glenn to keep that 1000-watt smile pasted on his face as serves slabs of Snoopy to his hideously deformed family, but he keeps his seething hatred in check until they are all safely out the door for another year.
Then it's HAMMER TIME! And heaven help any hobo that crosses his path.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 7:36:12 PM permalink HOME
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