Whaaaaaaa! How can I get the others to pay attention to meeeeeee when you do nice things like this?!? Whaaaaaaa! Curses!

As a way of saying thanks for all the good will coming our way in the last week, we doubled the storage allocation for Radio users from 20 to 40 megabytes. Thanks! 

All bullshitting aside, thanks very much for the extra space, DaveW and everyone at UserLand. DaveW, I hope this bout of pain stays in the rear-view mirror, and that you finally have a chance to enjoy yourself and can squeeze in a b-day celebration. Live long and prosper.

6:49:27 PM  [] blah blah blah'd on this    

It is NOT a parody! *stomping of feet* I mean business, you Winer-person, you! And you didn't even quote any part of my post, since you providing a quote plus your own commentary has been clinicially proven to increase flow to a weblog! You are purposely twisting your blog entries to restrict the flow to my blog, which I deserve as much as I can get! Whaaaaaaa!

A very good parody of a very bad one.  

6:39:41 PM  [] blah blah blah'd on this    

PS: DaveW, since the outage started on 4/29/02, I figure you owe me about fifty-five cents, calculated on a per diem basis. I'll accept it as a money order only, please. You know where you can mail it.

5:33:54 PM  [] blah blah blah'd on this    

Dave Winer, you are a no-good, poopy-headed, ca-ca boy. Don't make me write any more, or else you'll be sorry. Too late. Now you've done it, you no good doody-bomb. I'm gonna write all I want, right here on my blog. Don't you dare quote just a portion of this post, either. I have carefully placed each letter and punctuation mark just so, and I don't want others to see it in less than it's full glory, exactly as I intended it to be viewed! Whaaaaaaa!

I am not a lawyer, but I have read the license that came with Radio, and know that I paid you $40 dollars for the software and for 10MB (er, nope, make that 20MB, now. Oh, fsck, now it's 40MB...) of storage space on a web server somewhere on the Internet. My reading of these facts and the license, plus you accepting my money, means that for almost US$0.11 per day, I own your ass. Yes, that's right, for about what they say it costs to sponsor a child in a third-world country, my name should now be tattooed on your butt, just below and maybe a little to the right of that Murphy-guy's name. It says so right there in the contract, can't you see that? As soon as you accepted my money, U H4V3 B33n 0Wn3d, dUd3!

Don't forget that I could be using a free online blogging tool to run my blog, or that I could be using a free web hosting space, or if I have something really important that I always want to be available online I wouldn't trust it to a single hosting service. You should fear me running to the competition. Pay no attention to the fact that the free blogging tool may not be available 24-7/365, whenever I want to use it. Or that the free hosting service may require me to carry banner ads that they choose and won't pay me to carry, or they may have bandwidth quota limits, so when my big stories becomes really popular, they will try to make me pay money, or else shut off my website for the rest of the month. Or they may have other restrictions about what I may or may not be able to post on my site.

Forget about all that for right now, since I have paid the equivalent of almost TWO (2) delicious large pizzas with everything on them up front for the year. Remember that?!? U H4V3 B33n 0Wn3d! Now I get to dictate how you should run your business, where, when and how you should be employing your company's finite resources, and who you should listen to about any decisions that might need to be made -- forget those other Radio users have paid this same amount, too. It's meeeeeee that you should listen to, or else I will have more bees put in your hair. Aiiieeeeeee! Fear the bees! Why aren't you listening to me yet?

Hear my battle cry: Whaaaaaaa! This has been my battle cry since my mommy changed my diapers. Whaaaaaaa! Now I can change my own diapers. Only now they are called Depends. But my battle cry is still the same. Whaaaaaaa! In fact, my battle cry is louder now that I am older and can make bigger poopies in my diapers! I have discovered a gaping security hole in your spam-free mailto service. I will force you to act on my demand, or else I will call you more names, right here on my blog! Listen to me, you, you Winer-person, you!

What's the security hole?!? You should know, since you designed this flaw into the software, by your very nature as a human being! A spammer can still visit my weblog and poke at that little yellow-ish envelope icon and send my inbox A SPAM MESSAGE! This is outrageous! Unacceptable! Ridiculous, even! You should configure your system so that it works only that way I think it should, regardless of the technological realities or any logical flaws in my argument or my misunderstanding of the issues involved! You should be able to only allow people I want to send me mail to be able to send me mail! Remember that money I've already paid you! Almost eleven (11) cents a day! Whaaaaaaa! I get to say what happens! Whaaaaaaa! There are many exclamation points in this paragraph!

Furthermore, almost anyone who is administering a mail server in the path or may be using easily obtained and properly configured packet-sniffing software would be able to read the email message as it travels across the Internet from your server to my inbox. That's unacceptable! Why are you using a standard protocol from the mail server, instead of something that will protect the text of those messages in the way I think they should be protected? Screw standards, do as I say! Whaaaaaaa! Now where are those bees?

If you do not make these changes, I shall have to taunt you again. Don't test me, I will do it! Whaaaaaaa!

Disclaimer -- I write like crap.

4:30:36 PM  [] blah blah blah'd on this