Phil Ackley's Radio Thingumabob


daily link  Thursday, March 28, 2002


HR256 is a Kentucky house resolution encouraging the purchase "and vigorous use" of a submarine to deliver a "whoopin" to Riverboat Casinos operating on the Ohio river.

A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.

WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and

WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and

WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and

WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;

NOW, THEREFORE, Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky: Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.

Section 2. The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and impending whoopin' so that they may remove their casino vessels to friendlier waters.

  8:33:06 PM  permalink   Add a comment   

This purports to be an actual order by a southern judge with a sense of humor.  8:30:18 PM  permalink   Add a comment   

I just saw the funniest thing ever on FOX News. During the bottom of the hour news break, the anchor began reading a news script from about a week in a half ago. She got about 45 seconds into her time-warp, mentioning that President Bush has just left Monteray, Mexico, on his way to Peru when she stopped. Blinked and said

"Excuse me. I apologize. Palestinian authorities are preparing for an expected Isreali retaliation, after...blah blah blah"

and then read the read of today's news. It was truly a classic television moment.

Did anyone catch it on TIVO?  7:39:56 PM  permalink   Add a comment   


Sir Winston Churchill. "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." [Quotes of the Day]  6:24:38 PM  permalink   Add a comment   

In case your hadn't noticed, I'm as angry as I was on September 11. If you've already dismissed this Passover attack because it didn't happen here, I want you to remember how you felt about six and half months ago.

Not a nice memory, is it?  12:05:09 AM  permalink   Add a comment   


 
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blogchalk: Phil/Male/26-30. Lives in United States/Anchorage/Abbot Loop and speaks English. Spends 20% of daytime online. Uses a Fast (128k-512k) connection.
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Copyright 2002 © Phil Ackley.
Updated: 11/20/02; 7:12:02 PM.