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Sunday, May 30, 2004

Not Exactly Texas Tea

Since I didn't go to church today because, well, I'm an atheist, I decided to hop on my trusty bike and explore the paths between home and Ramstein AFB.  Rode for three hours.  My butt sore?  You betcha.

Three hours of butt soreness also adds up to a powerful thirst.  So I pulled into the truck stop just off the autobahn that runs by Ramstein to see what beverages they offered.

There's one thing you should know about Europeans and beverages.  Aside from their beer and wine fetish, they also don't like drinks very cold.  My experience has been they like their liquids just slightly below room temperature.  So if you pull into a German gas station hoping to pick up some ice cold beers or sodas, you'd better bring your own ice. 

But I'll tell you what you can find.  Something I that never crossed my mind certainly before this afternoon.

Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea.

The logo for this stuff, as you can see in the photo, is an ice cube with a marijuana leaf froze inside.  In fact the can I bought looked just like the one pictured here.

Bought, you ask?  Hell, yeah.  Seriously, who amongst you would choose a Pepsi when on the rack below is a whole bunch of cans of something called Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea?

So I grabbed a can, paid my nearly two euros, and stepped outside to feel the (as the advertising proclaims) "fantastic natural feeling."

Well, I drank it.  And sure enough it tasted something like tea, though not sweet and lemony as I generally like it.  And it didn't give me any sort of buzz or "fantastic natural feeling," either.  In fact, based purely on taste, I wouldn't go out of my way to buy another one.

But now I'm worried.  Was there enough "cannabis extract" to cause me to fail a drug test?  Is this stuff exactly legal?  Is my sperm going to be ok?  Am I going to start listening to the Dave Matthews Band?  What are the ramifications of my German truck stop adventure?

I'm going to have a tough night falling asleep.  A tough, tough night.

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9:44:49 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.



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