Monday, June 28, 2004

How I Wasted The Last Twelve Minutes Of My Life Just read a Q&A with Avril Lavigne in the latest Rolling Stone issue in which she declares three items of note: "I can't stand performing 'Complicated.'" When asked what's the rudest thing she's ever read about herself, she replies that she's heard she can't sing and she also hates hearing she can't write.  Quote:  "I'm a writer.  Don't you f*cking dare try to take that from me." "Radiohead -- The Bends is one of my favorite albums." In regards to "Complicated," maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but I'd gladly go the rest of my existence without hearing her sing that song.  Please, Avril, don't you worry your little head about that. And as far as her being a writer -- well, some of you know where I come out on this issue.  If not, just click here.  In short, she is a writer.  I mean, she does write words and all, like "boi."  Doesn't mean she's a good writer.  Not even close. Oh, and as far as Avril liking Radiohead -- well, that part almost made me fall off the toilet.  Jesus, that's maybe my favorite album of all time.  Yet, I guess that's further proof there's hope for everyone.  Maybe if she'd started there, she'd never have come up with the complete load of crap that is "Things I'll Never Say." 8:20:41 PM     |

He Must Have A Hot Date Tonight Someone spent some time online this morning on Google and find this site by searching for clitoris pronounce.  I'm 15th on the list.  Proud?  As always. 7:26:11 PM     |

Wanna See Donald Rumsfeld Look Really, Really, Really Stupid? Then watch this short video. Beyond having the nerve to try and flat-out rewrite history on national television, listening to Rumsfeld mutter "Mmm hm" twice when his own words are thrown back in his face, is both disturbing, yet oddly funny at the same time. Right up there with, "Now watch this drive!" Yep, the ol' "I never said that" excuse is working like a charm over there in Washington. Oh, and nice to see the early handover of sovereignty to that temporary government in Iraq.  They claim they did it early because they were ready to assume the power.  I think it's to pre-empt whatever car-bombings/kidnappings the Iraqis who aren't so pro-USA had planned for later this week. Still no word on when our guys can go home. 12:56:46 PM     |

We're Number One! Here's a look at this week's number one's in various areas. Number One Song:  "Burn" by Usher.  A break-up song that I'm guessing millions of dumped teenage girls wish their dumpers had used on them.  Oh, and I really love this line:  "But we done been fall apart."  Thanks, Usher!  I'll be dealing with that grammatical horror for years to come in my classes.  Hope you get your "Boo" back. He's also got the number two song:  "Confessions Part II."  Color me clueless, but I didn't know there was a Part I.  And is Part II better than Part I?  You know, like The Godfather? Number One Album:  To the 5 Buroughs by The Beastie Boys. I guess they're still fighting for their right to party.  Or sing about intergalactic planetary sabotages.  Or something. Number One Internet Album:  Undermind by Phish. Betcha didn't know there was an "Internet Album" category.  This is the top-selling album through internet purchases.  Not downloads, though.  Purchases of the real cd through places like Amazon.com.  What's interesting is that the Phish album doesn't even break into the top ten of the main album chart (comes in at number thirteen), but is number one on this chart, beating out Usher.  Does that mean that Phish fans are too embarrassed to go into Best Buy and pick up this album, or is that fan base camped out in front of their computers all day long and can't be bothered to go to a cd store?  And if the later is true, how come I don't have a copy yet? Number One Movie:  Fahrenheit 9/11. Pretty impressive for a documentary to be the top film in the country.  I'm guessing Bush wasn't planning on this when the election year rolled around.  I have this sneaky suspicion you'll see this popping out on dvd right around the end of October.  I'm just hoping the German theater here will show it soon, but right now they're too busy showing the latest Harry Potter flick (which is a lowly number six on the chart). Number One Hardcover Fiction:  The Da Vinci Code. Folks keep telling me I have to read this book.  I must read this book.  Kind of like another book I'm always being told I have to read.  Don't know about you, but when people start insisting that I do something with fanatical zeal, I tend to go the other way, or in this case, run the other way.  Number One Non-Fiction Book:  Big Russ and Me. Enjoy it while it lasts, Russ.  Big Bill will hit the charts later this week, and probably isn't going to give it up for awhile. 11:25:33 AM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.