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While my distant family may not even care if I show up for the burial services for my grandmother and even though I haven't seen any of them for 15 or so years, I feel like I should go to at least the burial services since I was unable to make it to the funeral services. My grandmother died last week and I always meant to go see her but never got around to it, I guess I figured she was such a strong woman that she'd be around forever. I remember when I was around 23 or so, my mom, sister and I went to her cabin and when we walked in the door, she said "margarita's anyone" and something about the fact, that it was really nice to have granddaughters that were legally able to drink. I know its a weird memory of her but its the last time we all hung out together besides my sister's wedding, I remember her being there but it wasn't my moment to be with her, if that makes any sense. We had our share of ups/downs, all families do but she was still my grandmother and I feel like I should go. I guess I've made my decision that I'm going and maybe that's whats been bugging me all day, agonzing over whether I should just go or not. I would love the support of a familar face but I completely understand that mom has other plans and she's been traveling alot lately. But you know, I'm a grown woman, I can do this and its time I did this for myself and to say goodbye to my grandmother (I realize that may seem weird to say goodbye there but she's not here, she's there watching over everyone and I feel like I need to be there).
11:25:38 PM
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