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  Friday, April 11, 2003


The Knitting Glossary we’d like to see:

 

What the…?

Definition: This pattern was obviously translated from the original Magyar by someone who has never held knitting needles in her life.

 

Swatch

Definition: What’s a swatch?

 

Gauge

Definition: What’s gauge?

 

Fudge

Definition(s): 1. To work-around indecipherable instructions

                        2. To bend a project to your will.

 

Seppucu

Definition: Japanese for “I’m going to dig out my entrails with size 3s.”

 

Rip out

Definition: English for “I’m going to dig out my entrails with size 3s.”

 

Socks

Definition: Wal-Mart, three for $5.

 

Crochet

Definition: How many toilet roll covers can you use in a lifetime?

 

Handpainted yarn

Definition: Drugs

 

LYS

Definition: Pushers of drugs

 

Fair Isle

Definition: A prescription for carpel tunnel syndrome

 

Intarsia

Definition: You’ve got to be kidding.

 

Spinning wheel

Definition:     1. Instrument with which to spin yarn.

                   2. A giant cat toy.

  

Latvian knitting

Definition: You do it.

 

Spouse

Definition: A handy kniddy noddy.

 

Toddler

Definition: A handy model for children’s sweaters.

 

Sheep

Definition: Important source of fiber.

 

Paycheck

Definition: Important source of fiber.

 

Credit card

Definition: Important source of fiber.

 

Stash

Definition: The ratio of home square footage to yarn.

 

Easy knitting

Definition: An oxymoron.

 

Hollywood knits

Definition: Yeah, in garter stitch.

 

Needle size (Metric, UK, American)

Definition: Who’s responsible for this?

 

Measurements

Definition: Pure fiction.

 

Finished object (FO):

Definition: Must be machine knitters.

 

Finishing

Definition: Hire out.

 

A little Friday funny for you'all.


Speak nake-idly! [] 7:51:48 AM    


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