Sunday, September 05, 2004

La Serenissima Serena Williams has handily defeated Patti Schnyder to advance to the U.S. Open quarterfinals, where she will face her arch-rival Jennifer Capriati. As she has since the start of the tournament, Williams appeared on court in her new black dominatrix outfit, with knee-high boots, monogrammed jacket, and studded, pleated micro-mini skirt. It's what the well-dressed Republican woman should be wearing as she goes forth from the Empire State to spread the gospel of the Bush Doctrine. 11:11:40 AM