Thursday, September 09, 2004

Spricht hier jemand Englisch? James Wolcott was on Elvis Mitchell's NPR show "The Treatment" to discuss his new book, "Attack Poodles and Other Media Mutants." Among many other observations, Wolcott pointed out that Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent seemed thicker than usual when he spoke at the Republican convention. "He sounds not like the parody on Saturday Night Live, he sounds like The Simpsons parody: `And if you don’t vote for Bush, I kill you dead.’." Henry Kissinger is another Teutonic celebrity who sounds like he keeps a Hollywood dialect coach on retainer to help him burnish his accent. There's a story about that accent that's been told so often, Kissinger now incorporates it in his speeches as a self-deprecating ice-breaker. It seems that both Kissinger and his brother came to the USA at the same time, yet the brother has no accent. When asked how that was possible, the brother replied, "I'm the Kissinger who listens." 3:38:25 PM

The Agassi and The Ecstacy "He's always been a great wind player, Andre Agassi," said commentator John McEnroe before the conclusion of today's quarterfinal U.S. Open match between Agassi and number-one-ranked Roger Federer. McEnroe wasn't referring to Agassi's hitherto-undisclosed ability as an oboist or bassoonist.  He was talking about the extremely windy conditions that made today's tennis a challenge for both players. The match had been continued today after being shortened by last night's rain.  If the U.S. Open experiences any more rainouts this year, they should consider moving the tournament to what the New York Times likes to derisively refer to as Sunny Southern California.  So why doesn't the LA Times ever talk about Rainy New York? In the end, it was Federer who turned out to be the better wind player -- the alpenhorn in his case, since he's a native of Basle, Switzerland.  He beat Agassi in a close 5-set match. Should Federer go on to win the Open, he'll become the first male player since Mats Wilander to win three Grand Slam tournaments in a single calendar year.  That's no typo, it's Mats, not Max -- the perfect name for a Greco-Roman wrestler. Bush would never be caught dead watching tennis.  It would instantly brand him as a brie-eating, chardonnay-and-latte-sipping country club elitist, spoiling his carefully crafted image as a straight-shooting, baseball-loving, heartland-of-America guy.  But if by chance he clicked on the wrong channel and happened to watch the conclusion of today's match, he'd probably sum it up like this: "That Federer, he's some competirer.  Agassi's a great player, and he really played his heart out, but today, Federer was just a little bit betterer." 12:28:36 PM