If he's going to say "no" to me, I wish he wouldn't do it by inches.

It's very difficult for me to be at parties with B- and not be a couple with him. I want people to see us that way, and he quite evidently doesn't. I'm not sure whether he ever will.

I cannot, and will not, let myself in for another scenario where I am in over my head and the other party is indifferent. I can't do that again.

If this is going to be over soon, I'd rather it were over now, so that I can cry, feel sorry for myself, and then move on. This is hard for me. I only wish he could see what I see as possible for the two of us. I'm stunned by his ability to compartmentalize. I can't do it, and I don't want to do it.

This is making me sad.

11:48:08 PM    please comment []