The Time Machine
When I was a teenager, like most teenagers I thought that adults couldn't possible understand what it was like to be a teenager. I thought that they just forgot their own experiences. Otherwise, how could they treat teenagers so stupidly?
As an adult, I can attest that it's true. We do forget.
When I was fifteen I started keeping a journal. At some point I decided that I was doing it deliberately, in part, so that when I was a grown-up I could re-read it and have a better sense of what it was like to be a teenager, and maybe treat teenagers better.
Over the years, I've re-read my journals a couple of times. There were fourteen volumes (I can't seem to find volume #12, which worries me a bit) of handwritten ink-on-paper, and some typewritten, pages covering a period from age 15 to roughly 22. Each time I re-read them, I'm struck by something completely different. The last time, I was flabberghasted by how much attention I paid to what I ate and what I weighed. And I swear, I was NOT a particularly image-conscious teenager.
I wonder what will I notice most this time? Because I've decided to re-read my journals, day-by-day, and post a story each day with a transcription of one day's entry. A lot of it is silly and mundane, pretentious, naive... quite the compilation of teenage charms and idiocies.
But in today's entry I already see themes that concern me to this day: the quest for self-discipline in daily life; God and spiritual practices; the search for love; family relationships; the creative life; who am I?; and the desire to be known as I am.
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
1:18:11 AM |