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The Conversation went about as I expected. Except B- claimed that he had been clear about not wanting a relationship.
By my memory, that's inaccurate. He told me he was confused and needed time to process. I told him to take his time. That was the last I heard about it.
Whatever. It's over. We'll see whether a friendship can be salvaged. In any case, he doesn't know what he's missing.
Once again, I behaved impeccably. But sometimes it seems the only ultimate consolation in taking the high road is that you experience your pain at altitude.
I used to do everything I could not to cry, as I felt it showed weakness and that other people would know they had power over me. I've modified my thinking, and now I allow myself to cry and even to be seen crying. (As a child, I don't remember anyone ever comforting me when I cried ~ though they may have. I remember being told that it wasn't so bad, or that crying was for babies. I also remember hiding in the bathroom to cry, but wishing someone would find me and comfort me. It never happened.) Crying is still hard for me.
1:11:16 PM  |
Write to me!
