Back Door Woman
It's a strange turn of affairs... that I see B- but I'm not "out" in his world.
His guest, D-, upon meeting me at B-'s front door said, "Oh, you must be S-!"
Uh... no.
So he's told D- about S-, but not about me. You'd think my reaction would be jealousy. I should be jealous. And when or if I hear that he's dating S-, I will be jealous. But this evening, I just laughed.
I spent a good part of the afternoon and evening yesterday with J-, another mutual friend. Our conversation turned to the dating world amongst our friends, and she said, "The one I can't figure out is B-. This is the longest I've known him to go without a girlfiend." The comment just sat there, as I realized that there was nothing I could say to her that wouldn't lead either to some kind of fib or a breach of confidence that I'm not prepared to make.
This afternoon, on the spur of the moment, I fired off a plaintive email saying "I miss you." Ten minutes later the phone rang, and he invited me over to offer decorating advice for his home. We went through it, room by room.
I don't know how wise it is of me to continue in this way. But I enjoy being with him so much ~ and my hope is that he'll gradually come to see our relationship as something joyful and trustworthy and rich and with promise for the future. But he may not, and I may just have to find a way to know when to say when.
It is wonderful to touch him.
12:37:39 AM |