Adolescent Angst
My sense of the coercive effect of other people's image of me was very strong at age fifteen. My need for approval from parental/authority figures was huge.
Imagine the corrosive effect that Mr. K's comment could have on a person who derived her self-image from teachers: You are too self-centered.
Yeah, I was an adolescent ~ all adolescents are self-centered to some degree, they have to be to do the separating and identity building necessary to become adults. But I'm here to testify that I was NOT to too self-centered. If anything, I took too much responsibility for the perceptions and feelings of others.
Except, in this entry, for the feelings of Mr. G, with whom I'm afraid I was merciless in my own way. Somehow I knew he was even more of an outsider than I was. I didn't know exactly why. Now I do, and I'm ashamed of myself.
10:21:22 PM |