| Count the Neuroses
I hope he can bring himself to understand me, and that my biggest fear is he will just write me off as uninteresting and unworthwhile.
There you have it in a nutshell.
I have a tremendous ambition to be best, sometimes I feel horrendously guilty about it.
The family curse: it doesn't count if it's not the utmost in excellence. But being ambitious is ugly, especially if you admit it.
I dream of collecting a ream of these notebooks and publishing them when I'm famous, which I have no doubt in my heart of hearts that I'll be someday.
I'm not famous and I certainly don't expect to be. But I was supposed to be, otherwise what excuse did I have? I did, however, end up with a ream of notebooks. (Aren't YOU guys lucky?)
A newsman made a biased crack on the 11 o'clock news tonight. It made me feel good, it was a crack I agreed with. I hope he doesn't get in too much trouble for it.
I have no idea what this is about. It weirds me out. I'm sure it wasn't a racial slur, because racism was and always has been anathema to me. But I have no idea what it could have been.
If I remember correctly, Pat Bonner-Lyons was a dynamic Black woman running for public office of some sort.
I got an "A" on my first paper. Big deal. I wish some of the other kids hadn't made a fuss about it.
Do good work, but don't let any praise ever go to your head. Be ashamed of your success. No one will like you if you enjoy being good at things.
Remember, I was fifteen when I wrote this stuff.
12:22:27 AM  |
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