My Good Friend Dr. Okwu
Yes, it's too good to be true. I got another email from a Nigerian scam artist today. Actually, it came on Saturday but I didn't check by blog's email until today. It brightened what would've been an otherwise crappy Monday morning. Here's the deal I just can't pass up:
October 11, 2003
FROM: DR.JOHNSON FABIAN OKWU
Union Bank of Nigeria PIc,
Corporate Office:
36 Marina,
P.M.B. 2027,
Lagos,
Nigeria
Tel: (234)-1-266334
Fax: (234)-1-266631
DEAREST,
COMPLEMENTS OF THE SEASON
I AM THE MANAGER OF BILLS AND EXCHANGE AT THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC. IN MY DEPARTMENT WE DISCOVERED AN ABANDONED SUM $33.3USD (THIRTY THREE MILLION THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND U. S. DOLLARS ONLY) IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR FOREIGN CUSTOMER,BY NAME, MR. BOB CHAPMAN, AFRICAN AREA DIRECTOR FOR WYCLIFFE BIBLE TRASLATORS INTERNATIONAL, WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS WIFE, RUTH CHAPMAN, IN JANUARY 2000 IN A KENYAN PLANE CRASHI IN THE COAST OF ABDIJAN, IVORY COAST.
SINCE WE GOT INFORMATION ABOUT HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING HIS NEXT OF KIN TO COME OVER AND CLAIM HIS M0NEY BECAUSE WE CAN NOT RELEASE IT UNLESS SOMEBODY APPLIES FOR IT AS NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION TO THE DECEASED AS INDICATED IN OUR BANKING GUIDELINES. UNFORTUNATELY, WE LEARNT THAT HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN DIED ALONG WITH HIM AT THE PLANE CRASH LEAVING NOBODY BEHIND FOR THE CLAIM. IT IS THEREFORE UPON THIS DISCOVERY THAT I AND OTHER OFFICIALS IN THE
DEPARTMENT NOW DECIDED TO MAKE BUSINESS WITH YOU AND RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION OF THE DECEASED FOR SAFETY AND SUBSEQUENT DISBURSEMENT SINCE NOBODY IS COMING FOR IT AND WE DON'T WANT THIS MONEY TO GO INTO FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT AS UNCLAIMED BILL. THE BANKING LAW AND THE GUIDELINES HERE STIPULATES THAT IF SUCH MONEY REMAINED UNCLAIMED AFTER THREE YEARS THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO BANKING TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND.
THE REQUEST OF A FOREIGNER AS NEXT OF KIN IN THIS BUSINESS IS OCCASIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND A NIGERIAN CANNOT STAND AS NEXT OF KIN FOR A FOREIGNER. WE AGREE THAT A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE OF THIS MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS OUR FOREIGN PARTNER. THEREAFTER MY COLLEAGUE AND I WILL VISIT YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGE AGREED UPON..
THEREFORE TO ENABLE THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF THE FUND TO YOU AS ARRANGED. YOU MUST APPLY FIRST TO THE BANK AS A RELATION OR NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED INDICATING YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND LOCATION WHEREIN THE MONEY WILL BE REMITTED. UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY I WILL SEND TO YOU THE TEXT OF THE APPLICATION.
AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER, YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME THROUGH MY E-MAIL ADDRESS OR PHONE NUMBER .
TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY.
YOURS FAITHFULLY
DR.JOHNSON FABIAN OKWU
Do these guys know how to shut off the Caps Lock key? I mean, I can forgive problems with the English language, but don't these guys think that all caps is going to give someone a freakin' headache? Anyway, I decided to have a little fun with my friend Dr. Okwu. So I sent him this response:
October 13, 2003
Dear Dr. Okwu:
I've just come back from a weekend trip to Rikers Island and found your message. Could you answer two questions for me please?
- How did you get my e-mail address?
- If I agree to assist you what percentage of the $33.3 million will you offer me?
Please answer the above before we go any further.
Regards
Claude Bawls
Notice the clever alias. If this guy responds, I'm going to see how far I can string him along before I let him know he's wasted his friggin' time. I'll keep you (yes, both of you) advised as things develop.
File under Nigerian Email Buddies.
10:12:09 PM 
|
Monday, October 13, 2003
