It Goes On And On And On...

I heard from my Nigerian friend again today. I guess he's really anxious for me to get that paperwork into the "bank."

MY DEAR FRIEND,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND SECONDLY TO ENQUIRE IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE COMPLETE FORM I SENT TO YOU,FUTHERMORE,ENDEAVOUR TO SEND IT TO THE BANK,IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO.

JOHNSON

I wait a few hours, then I send a blank document along with the info Johnson provided to the "bank." Then I introduce an unwanted third party into the equation:

My Dear Johnson

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. The tinnitus is still with me. I've tried using a speakerphone, but that seems to aggravate the problem - according to the doctors there are about 6 different forms of tinnitus and they all have different effects - apparently mine is quite severe, although treatable. It's also causing me severe headaches which are aggravated by having to read email that are in all capital letters. Would it be possible for you to use upper and lower case letters for a change? As to your inquiry, the information has been sent. I do have a problem though. It seems my solicitor, Buster Hyman, is looking for a "piece of the action." He seems to think something shady is going on and wants 10% to keep his mouth shut. The guy's a real scumbag, but I've been dealing with his firm, N. Gulff & DeVower for years. Do you have any suggestions?

C. Bawls

It's going to be time to lower the boom soon. I'm just waiting for him to ask me to front the cash necessary to close the transaction. I can't wait. Yeah, right.

File under Nigerian Email Buddies.

7:43:21 PM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []  

Writer's Block

Wil discusses a bout with writer's block, something I can identify with.

File under Blog Talk.

7:37:32 PM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []  

And Now, Your Moment Of Zen

File under Stuff That Don't Fit Anywhere Else.

7:27:36 AM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []  

Idiots On Parade

Did anybody see the interview of the brother and parents of the Niagara Falls jumper on The Today Show? Is there any better advertisement for birth control? The defining moment, Katie Couric asks the mother a question, then silence ensues. Finally, her husband elbows her to wake her up. I was waiting for the brother to stick his hand in his pants Al Bundy style.

Katie Couric, can you say "dead air?

Postscript: I just saw the interview of the widow of a soldier killed in Iraq and retired General Franks. Matt Lauer harped on the fact that the soldier's family got $10,000 while victims of 9/11 purportedly got $1.5 million. He also tried to back Franks into a corner by asking him why we didn't expect this mess after the "victory." He ended by asking Gen. Franks what he thought of Wesley Clark's candidacy to which Gen. Franks, to his credit, responded: "ain't it a great country." Do you think Matt Lauer has an agenda?

File under Current Events.

7:25:05 AM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []