Dancin' On The Line
Well our friendly Nigerian email fish is starting to dance on the end of the line:
[October 15, 2003] MY DEAR FRIEND,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY? SORRY FOR MY LATE RESPONSE,I HAVE
TO WAIT TILL ALMOST ALL THE SENSITIVE OFFICERS OF THE
BANK HAS TO LEAVE OR RATHER CLOSE FOR WORK,SO THAT I
CAN HAVE ACESS TO THE STRONG ROOM OF THE BANK.
I WANT TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO INFORM YOU THAT LATE
BOB CHAPMAN OPERATED A FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT WITH THE
UNION BANK,SO THERE WAS NOTHING LIKE STATEMENT OF
ACCOUNT RATHER WHAT HE HAS WAS A CERTIFICATE OF
DEPOSITE,HOWEVER,I HAVE TO HURRY UP TO SCAN THE COPY
FOR YOUR URGENT PERUSAL.
BE KIND TO REACH ME ON MY PHONE:+234-802-313-8256,I
WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR CALL TO CONFIRM THE RECEIPT OF
THE DOCUMENT.
PLEASE I AM PLEADING TO YOU TO KEEP THIS DOCU,MENT AS
SECREAT AS YOU CAN.
THEN THE 10% CAN BE SENT TO ANY CHARITY ORGANISATION
OF YOUR CHOICE,PLEASE DECIDE YOUR CHOICE.
I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL,MIND YOU THE NUMBER IS
24 HOURS SERVICE.
REMAIN BLESSED.
JOHNSON.
How nice of him to tell me to remain blessed. He even sent a copy of the deposit certificate to make me feel more comfortable:
Looks pretty damn official, doesn't it? Now it's time to "play" the fish. First I let some time pass. Our fish is starting to get nervous:
[October 16, 2003] DEAR SIR,
PLEASE I AM WORRIED YOU HAVE NOT CONFIRMED THE REXCEIPT OF
THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE,PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW,BECAUSE I AM
AFRAID,IF SOMEONE ELSE HAS NOT PICKED IT,MIND YOU IT IS VERY
CONFIDENTIAL.
SO CONFIRM RECEIPT.PLEASE CALL MY LINE +234-802-313-8256.
JOHNSON
Naturally, I really don't want to talk to him on the phone, so here is my reply, sent today:
Dear Johnson
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. My computer crashed a few days ago and I had to give it to a friend to repair who's just brought it back. I have received your deposit certificate. Thank you. Please let me know how you propose to go about making the transfer. As far as the charity is concerned, I'd like the money to go to Hamas if that is possible. I'd love to call you on the phone - at the moment I'd love to speak to anyone on the phone - but 2 weeks ago I developed a condition called Tinnitus - have you heard of it? It is a persistent ringing in the eardrum and it varies from case to case apparently but with me it's all the time and very loud. The doctor has given me some medication and says it should clear up in 2 to 3 weeks but it's a big nuisance. I can just about carry on a normal conversation face to face with someone but telephone conversations are absolutely impossible - I think the telephone receiver magnifies the ringing noise. Anyway I'm still able to function and type e-mails so I'm prepared to go further if you are. Please arrange for your lawyer to start all the necessary documentation.
Regards
C. Bawls
Will Hondo land the fish? Or will the fish slip the hook? Only time will tell. Stay tuned.
File under Nigerian Email Buddies.
9:56:42 PM 
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Thursday, October 16, 2003
