Still Playing The Fish

No, I'm not talking about the Yankees and the Marlins. My Nigerian friend Johnson is getting really annoying me. He's claiming that I didn't fill out the bank forms, though he does offer advice about dealing with my "attorney":

my dear friend,

how are you today? sorry for your health problems,don't you think it is still 
wise for you to go through prayers,as that will be a parmanent solution to the 
problems?well seek spiritual assistance,alright?good.
 
i was in the legal dept.this morning to ascertain about the progress of the 
transaction,but according to the secretary of the dept. your completed form 
has not been submitted by you,i mean that which i assisted you in 
completing,which you just told me that you submitted,so why all this 
delay?then for your lawyer,we can offer him 5% from the charity percentage,i 
think that is all i have to say concerning that area,so ask him to calm down 
and let him cooperate with us,alright?good.can i have his email address,at 
least i can write him and explain everything to him.
 
i am waiting to hear from you at the same time make sure you mail the 
completed form to the legal dept.
 
get well soon.
 
johnson

Well at least he stopped with the all caps crap. He should learn how to use the shift key. I wish he'd cut to the chase and ask for the money already. So, I sent him this response:

Dear Johnson

I really don't understand. I submitted it by  email yesterday using the exact wording you specified. Could you check again? If necessary I'll resend.

As for the 5% to the lawyer, I hate to give that bastard any money out of the charity percentage, but what else can I do? The guy's just a real prick.

C. Bawls

File under Nigerian Email Buddies.

9:00:54 PM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []  

Legal Seafoods?

There was a story yesterday in The New York Times about a paralegal in a major New York law firm who spent a lot of time researching sushi takeout restaurants for one of the firm's partners. It's true. Here's a copy of the memo I obtained from Gawker.com:

I just wonder which client got billed for this research project.

File under The Legal Profession.

8:32:01 AM    Go ahead, make my day  []  trackback []