Thursday, November 13, 2003

A Title I Don't Want The picture on the left is of Mitoyo Kawate, whom the Guinness folks had recently dubbed the oldest human alive when the former title holder decided to call it quits a few weeks ago.  Mitoyo died today at the whopping age of 114. You never would have guessed by looking at that picture, right?  Doesn't look a day over 110. These human fossils are dropping like flies, by the way.  The previous title-holder, Kamato Hongo (not sure if that's a male or female, though at that age, you probably couldn't tell the difference), died just a couple of weeks ago, and it only had the record for a month when a dude named Yukichi settled in for a dirt nap in late September. Personally, I never want to be the World's Oldest Human, because frankly, it doesn't seem like you could enjoy yourself all that much at that age.  When do you think Mitoyo last had a night out with the girls?  Forty years ago when she was a partyin' 74? And just think, 114 years means nearly 6,000 Mondays that she went through, and we all know how crappy those can be. But to honest, there is something worse than being the world's oldest human being:  believing you are the world's oldest person, but not being able to prove it in time to get credit for it. But then again, you don't wait till you're 123 to go digging for that birth certificate and trying to get Guinness' attention.  Common sense tells you to get that taken care of as soon as you hit 120.  Hell, everyone knows that! Related sites: Guinness World Records Guinness Gross World Records to be published 5:29:29 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.