Monday, February 02, 2004

Justification Ok, so I didn't get to see the Super Bowl live.  Likewise, I didn't get to see the halftime show live, either.  But through the magic of Sky network, I got to see editted versions of both this afternoon.  First off, I'd tried vainly to get through my school day without finding out how the game turned out.  Managed to get through first period ok because all of the talkative guys were no-shows.  But then second period arrived and ruined everything.  Within seconds of the students walking through the door I knew not only who won, but also that it came down to a field goal.  Great. Since that was blown, I decided to go online during my lunch break to see what others thought of the game.  That's when I found out about the halftime show and Justin Timberlake indulging his breast fetish.  Suddenly I had a new reason to watch the game when I got home -- or at least pay attention to the halftime show, which is something I might not have done otherwise with that particular line-up. Pre-boobie, the halftime show was way below average.  Lip-synching galore of songs I didn't like when they came out years ago.  The only one who wasn't pretending to sing (but then again, they ALL do to one degree or another on their albums) was Kid Rock, but that's not exactly a reason to celebrate.  Then Mr. Timberlake decided that what the world needed in these troubled times is a quick view of Janet Jackson's right boob and whatever the hell that was attached to her nipple.  At first I thought it was a nipple ring.  After much careful research, I discovered it was a some sort of alien sun-ring thingie.  Not what I usually see on the scarce boobies I come across, but then I don't run in the same circles as the Jackson family. I love Timberlake's take on the whole thing after the show: "I am sorry if anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance at the Super Bowl," he said. "It was not intentional and is regrettable." "Wardrobe malfunction"???  This isn't a probe to Mars!  Nothing malfunctioned.  He ripped off the front of her Matrix outfit.  And "not intentional"?  Who is he kidding?  Something like what she was wearing wouldn't rip off so neatly with a simple tug like what he gave it (not that I'm an expert on doing that sort of thing).  Plus, since I knew what to expect at the end of the show, I carefully looked for clues.  At least a couple of times during her first number, Janet Jackson clutches her breasts when doing sudden shaking dance moves.  Looked to me like she was making sure that front didn't come off too early.  Plus, I don't think a woman goes wearing severe looking nipple sun-ring thingies unless she plans on showing it off to somebody.  Or a billion somebodies. And "regrettable," Justin?  The only thing I regret is finding out Ms. Jackson is a Cyborg.  Explains a lot about her brother, too. Oh, and I did get to check out all the commercials through IFilm.  Some were pretty good, but none were "OH my GOD!  Did you see THAT!?!" good.  None that I'd care to see again.  None that would encourage me to buy their product. Might go pick up an alien sun-ring nipple thingie, though. Related sites: The Drudge Report's coverage of the "controversy" CNN:  CBS apologizes for breast-baring AVI clip of the incident Follow-up: The alien sun-ring nipple thingie that Janet Jackson was sporting is called a nipple shield.  You can pick a pair up through Flesh, Inc.  I don't recommend the silver nipple spikes at the bottom of the page, though.  You won't just poke an eye or two out with those things.  You'd kill someone.  That and you'd spend a fortune on replacing shirts. 6:06:23 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.