Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Father Of The Year I know it is only February, and 2004 still has a long way to go, but I am ready to open up the nominations for Father of the Year.  Here are the top three so far: Leading off the list of candidates is the father who body-slammed a high school basketball referee during a game last Friday in Pittsburgh.  This was at a game that only parents and grandparents could attend because the rivalry between the schools was too intense for students to be there.  You know, the immature / can't control themselves / no repect for authority teenagers.  I'm glad this father managed to prove the school board's point.  I hope those youngsters who couldn't attend the game learned this particular lesson good and hard, too:  always respect authority, or if not, go WWF on them! Giving the above idiot a run for his money is the dad who ran over his wife and kid after a birthday party.  I'm not saying he did it on purpose, but if he was leaving the party, why wasn't mom and junior in the car with him? Not to be outdone is the step-father who played a tape for his sleeping ten year old son that told him to kill his little brother.  Coward.  If you want to kill the four year old, do it yourself! And speaking of fathers loving their children, there's the story of the dad who liked to shake his kid like a maraca.  "Sir, how do you like your son?"  "Shaken, not stirred." Now don't worry, I'll soon be opening up nominations for Son of the Year.  The early favorite is the British brat who ran off to Rome with his dad's credit card and quickly ran up a bill of about $22,000.  But never fear:  dad (who is also in the running for Dumbass Parent of the Year) has already forgiven the youngster and has hired a lawyer. Kids these days.  Who knows what they could do without their dads? Related sites: Fathers.com:  The National Center for Fathering Milkmen:  Fathers who breastfeed 5:52:12 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.